tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69189217883879817762024-03-13T07:53:48.861-07:00The Thick of ItBonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-80084118406502013972019-10-15T13:40:00.000-07:002019-10-15T13:40:46.853-07:00Short and SweetCalories in: 11,343<br />
Calories out: 17,153<br />
Deficit: 5,810<br />
/3500 = 1.66 projected pounds lost<br />
Minutes of exercise: 298 / 4.96 hours<br />
Pounds lost this week:.4<br />
Total pounds lost: 35.2<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv8QBidbhhWESMteEywLJWNqZmD56FKpePKxSzGAt79Mu1tsD7FldIMnjc9FjdBd7GjyMJXZSaxssyAmQ8YnaoyzB5f6lCsLuUDZCDkM9AQCOxQB5u7pI97-Utak7FM53REsqCRqgWDnM/s1600/Multitasking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv8QBidbhhWESMteEywLJWNqZmD56FKpePKxSzGAt79Mu1tsD7FldIMnjc9FjdBd7GjyMJXZSaxssyAmQ8YnaoyzB5f6lCsLuUDZCDkM9AQCOxQB5u7pI97-Utak7FM53REsqCRqgWDnM/s320/Multitasking.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">If only we looked as calm as this stock image when we have too much to do. And with perfect eyebrows.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
Well, it's happened. I'm officially stressed about having two writing projects, so I'm keeping this blog short. In my other writing life, I'm working on my third novel (two completed, still trying to find an agent), and the writing is flowing. And the magic of the flow shall not be interrupted!<br />
<br />
Having worked the process of a novel before, when I find myself lost in the details of my story, I know that things are getting good. For example, the other day my husband and I were having dinner and fell into that comfortable marriage silence. He asked, 'What are you thinking about?" Me: "That Aurelius speaks Latin and Uther speaks Old English, is that what you were thinking about?"<br />
<br />
He gave me a look like I'm from Mars. But in a good way. He knew he married a nerd.<br />
<br />
The good news is that the balance of exercise and life is stabilizing. The numbers are off this week, but I'm also on my period which is a bitch. Damn you bloat! It's not uncommon for my weight to shoot up 1-2.5 pounds at this time and then fall off at the end. I've also rested on days when I was exhausted and set my exercise goals at 45 minutes a session instead of an hour. I also have not fasted in a week because I couldn't bring myself to do it.<br />
<br />
I'm thinking for my sanity, I may check in every two weeks on this blog -- or possibly every three, I'll just have to see how it goes.<br />
<br />
In the off weeks, I'm thinking about using this space to post first drafts of chapters for my new book. The elevator pitch goes: Gwen and Lance are modern scientists who time travel back to the Lost Century to weave their way into Arthurian legend. Think 'Wicked' but instead of Elphaba and her band of animal friends, Gwen juggles opposing warlords.<br />
<br />
What do you guys think? Up for reading some first drafts of my new project? I will take as many extra sets of eyes as I can get!<br />
<br />
Until next time,<br />
BonnieBonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-49874074084783338022019-10-08T10:43:00.001-07:002019-10-08T10:43:32.632-07:00Figuring Out Balance<b><br /></b>
<b>October 8, 2019</b><br />
<b>Total Pounds Lost: 34.8</b><br />
<b>Pounds Lost This Week: 1.9</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTPWQJeI_F-tcmte-LGa5DQSUTPrxiFjh2UA7OyXNIIyzzdGhWXnaWyCAI5YtXLACQG3jb8-2PhE2IGaRlmqAEqzEAb753qZXaZt_WdgAhlJUmw-Q0uYDn0HUWrqwRXPnqBLBx7CjzauA/s1600/bazooka.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1396" data-original-width="1600" height="279" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTPWQJeI_F-tcmte-LGa5DQSUTPrxiFjh2UA7OyXNIIyzzdGhWXnaWyCAI5YtXLACQG3jb8-2PhE2IGaRlmqAEqzEAb753qZXaZt_WdgAhlJUmw-Q0uYDn0HUWrqwRXPnqBLBx7CjzauA/s320/bazooka.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">This one is an oldie but goodie</span></div>
<br />
<br />
I struggled this week. Struggled between not indulging, exercising, indulging, and then exercising like a maniac to make up for indulging. A precarious pendulum swinging from one extreme to the next without finding a healthy way to hover in the middle.<br />
<br />
I'm trying to start good habits. I am. My friends who are fit work out 5-7 times per week, so 7 hours of exercise a week is my stretch goal. And once that becomes a real habit, my body will change. When I think back to my more fit days, I exercised 3 days a week with 1 major hike on the weekend -- so that was 5 hours of exercise a week or more. Getting into the routine is tough. I've been doing it, but have resorted to napping when Max naps to recover. Because sister, I'm tired.<br />
<br />
I know this sounds silly, but it's really hard for me to sacrifice Max's precious nap time to my own sleeping rather than writing. But if I'm ready to cry into my dinner or snapping at my family because I'm exhausted from adapting to exercise...it's not worth it. I'll never forget in college, I was whining to my Dad on the phone how tired I was, lamenting on how to get more energy, and if I should drink more coffee. To which he replied, "if you're tired, you should sleep."<br />
<br />
I was thunderstruck at the simplicity. And then I took a nap. The same applies now, I gotta take care of myself. Besides, my mental clarity jumps by a thousand percent when I'm rested. The world seems brighter, goals more do-able.<br />
<br />
There's another ironic twist here: each morning I plan out 'operation wear out the baby,' to make sure Max gets enough exercise to nap and sleep well at night.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZUPL6q69o5a4lR6GWH_p2EuWk_0IpJngcnat3YZbuM-PASm2__RcFVQRixyT752SR7KqMpE0FuXQTLwH0MI5n2O9yP4MzHYiJeIYwa4uXUBf5jtiHXdwuCGNB2J6TAGWXN55bkHpVVQM/s1600/IMG_1685.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="474" data-original-width="640" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZUPL6q69o5a4lR6GWH_p2EuWk_0IpJngcnat3YZbuM-PASm2__RcFVQRixyT752SR7KqMpE0FuXQTLwH0MI5n2O9yP4MzHYiJeIYwa4uXUBf5jtiHXdwuCGNB2J6TAGWXN55bkHpVVQM/s320/IMG_1685.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Mission accomplished.</span></div>
<br />
It seems so natural to inflict exercise to the point of exhaustion on my kid, but when I'm doing it for my own health, I'm #RESISTING. There's a reason they call it working out. It's work.<br />
<br />
It's a lot of work. Back to the topic I wandered away from in paragraph one, I ate too much on Friday, and then went out on Sunday on a date with the hubs and ate too much again. They say the key to sticking to a new habit is to forgive oneself after a slip and get back on board, but it's hard not to beat myself up for the slips. Imagine how much more weight I would have lost this week if I hadn't indulged at all.<br />
<br />
Sigh.<br />
<br />
But I'm human, so I move on. Keep on chugging. I don't know if I'm working too hard and indulging too hard, but I'm experimenting, trying to find that nebulous plane of existence called 'balance.' I did manage to get up twice this week at 6AM and work out. I did exercise every single day and reached my stretch goal.<br />
<br />
On another note, the mere amount of time I spend these days thinking about my body, eating healthy and exercising is overwhelming. Of course, I want it to be a priority, but fixating to the point of obsession isn't healthy, or helping me. It's one of the reasons I think this blog helped me so much in the past -- if I could get these racing thoughts about the process out of my head and down on paper, then they couldn't bother me anymore. Still holds true. So, again, thank you to this online community for reading and keeping me going with your comments and support.<br />
<br />
As a final note to this chapter, I splurged on a wizz-bang FitBit. I've always been a detail-oriented person and seeing everything by my numbers helps me. I have a real measure of calories in vs. calories out and it matches up for what the scale reads. All this time in the past two years I've been blaming my non-weight loss on something else. Recently, I convinced myself that I may be flirting with insulin-resistance. That's why it's so hard.<br />
<br />
<u>Here are the hard numbers from this week:</u><br />
Calories Out: 17,827 (Exercised every day for 45 minutes - hour)<br />
Calories In: 11,505 (~1,643 calories consumed per day average)<br />
6,322 Calorie Deficit Net<br />
3500 Calories per pound of fat<br />
1.8 pounds lost - by the numbers<br />
1.9 pounds lost - by the scale<br />
<br />
But, again, the numbers check out, so it's not insulin resistance. I just have to work it. And I'll keep on working.<br />
<br />
If you want to join me on my fitness apps, I'm 'bonniehorvitz' on MyFitnessPal and 'Bonnie B' on FitBit. Hope to see you there.Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-78813873520281103792019-10-01T08:09:00.002-07:002019-10-01T08:09:50.829-07:00Not News: Being A Mom is HardOctober 1, 2019<br />
Total Pounds Lost: 32.9<br />
Pounds Lost This Week: +.8<br />
<br />
Well, this is a pisser. The scale went the wrong way this week. It's more than a pisser, it's downright depressing after so much work. So many rationalizations running through my head right now, but I'll get on with this week's subject.<br />
<br />
While sipping my coffee and watching Channel 8 news in the wee hours before Max woke up last week, Gayle (Oprah's best friend, I'll have you know) told me that moms work an average of ninety hours a week.<br />
<br />
And I scoffed, ninety hours? Really Gayle? That can't be right. But then I did the math. I wake up between 6:30-7:00 every morning. I go to bed at 9:30 and read before I fall asleep. Generously speaking, I'm asleep by 10:30 PM. Many times it's earlier. So, on an average day I'm awake 15 hours give or take. Max is up by 7 AM and goes to sleep at 8:30. On amazing days he takes 3 hour naps, on average days it's 90 minutes. And sometimes it's no minutes. I often cry on those days or bite a rando's head off. I think that's normal.<br />
<br />
<u>Anyhoo, here's the math: </u><br />
My Waking Hours: 105<br />
<span style="text-align: center;">Max Waking Hours: 94.5 Before accounting for naps</span><br />
<br />
So, Gayle was right.<br />
<br />
I'm one of those lucky Moms who sends my kid to preschool for two extended mornings a week, giving me twelve glorious hours to write, nerd out at the library researching my book, or sometimes (let's be honest) get a California burrito and do beached whale impressions in front of the TV while marathoning 'Killing Eve.' So, accounting for preschool my average working hours a week is somewhere between 75-85 hours depending on how much Max naps.<br />
<br />
Nap time has always been exclusively writing time for me, so technically, I never take a break. This worried my Mom a lot (and still does), but writing doesn't wear me out, it replenishes me. It exercises that adult part of my brain that atrophies after too many diapers and reruns of 'Llama Llama.' (Hint to future parents, the key question to ask yourself when selecting children's TV programing is: Can I ignore it? Yes? Sweet. I often read while Max sits on my lap while watching his shows. Something for him and something for me. Plus cuddles. It works out.)<br />
<br />
But, back to this blog, and why all this detail is important: dedicating all my 'extra' time also means that there are no hours left for exercising in a real way, so my weight has suffered. Fortunately, our neighborhood is quite walkable so I take Max for long walks / adventures 2-3 times a week to wear him out and get some exercise. And the hard truth is that's the one thing that's kept me from gaining <i>all</i> the weight back that I lost in 2012.<br />
<br />
Quite a few times, I've told myself I will trade a few precious<br />
writing hours for hardcore exercise. And I do for a few weeks, but get so down-on-my-knees tired from adapting to hard work that I cry and give up.<br />
<br />
I'm at that crux again. For sure. I got three hardcore workouts in last week (3 hours of exercise), and the week before every single day (7.5 hours of exercise) and my resting self is beat-down tired. Like, teary tired. Like, I'm going to let this blog fade into obscurity and give up again tired. I'm still fasting two days a week and the scale went the wrong way? What's the point? Seriously.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh7IipEHLD5ShUlG9mnm4NGLAste3pzu9XJWVBAlhTuSx215sRLyPAhYUHRyj7vhuH08p-_j8n4D-0SIym_aqCnlaCUVK-hhxy0J2gOhYxAzwDwDipJh6ym-lmMjR5eYBqxL80mp1TY6A/s1600/Never+Give+Up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1280" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh7IipEHLD5ShUlG9mnm4NGLAste3pzu9XJWVBAlhTuSx215sRLyPAhYUHRyj7vhuH08p-_j8n4D-0SIym_aqCnlaCUVK-hhxy0J2gOhYxAzwDwDipJh6ym-lmMjR5eYBqxL80mp1TY6A/s320/Never+Give+Up.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">My shitty drawings are back!</span></i></div>
<br />
The good news is, I am figuring out how to incorporate exercise in a way that works for me. When I go to the gym I've been researching for my new book while on the exercise bike or elliptical machine. So, it's a two-for-one benefit. I also got one of those 'step' platforms so I can do step aerobics downstairs while Max naps upstairs. I'm trying, I really am. But, I will tell you, being a mom is hard. And staying healthy and exercising on top of that is even harder. Show me the love!Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-82105784558423959012019-09-24T19:43:00.000-07:002019-09-24T19:43:45.172-07:00I'm back bitches!33.7 pounds kept off since original journey in 2012.<br />
<br />
Hi friends.<br />
<br />
It's been awhile. In fact, it's been a long while. Six years to be exact.<br />
<br />
A lot has happened. I quit smoking. I had a baby. I'm a stay-at-home-mom now to my now two-year-old. I wrote two novels and I'm working on a third. (third book, not baby, that is.) I'm trying to secure a literary agent and constantly resisting the urge to check my email 872 times a day to see if anyone has requested my manuscript. In that aspect of my life, I'm failing. I checked my email 873 times today even though I promised myself I wouldn't.<br />
<br />
But I digress. This was a weight loss blog, and this is the 'where is she now' update. The bottom line is I've kept thirty pounds off of the sixty I lost in 2012-2013. Thus, I'm going with the original success rate listed at the top. Thirty off, thirty to get back to where I was when I got married. I feel like I've been on a never-ending diet since I've had my son with very little success. I've had bouts of tracking my food on MyFitnessPal, month-long flirtations with Keto and at my strongest I tried "The Metabolism Diet," which was essentially starvation I coupled with a thirty day yoga challenge. Successful, yet temporary. We all know that tune. Next, please.<br />
<br />
In my heart of hearts, I know this journey was tough last time, but I don't ever recall it being this f*cking hard. Yes, I know I had a baby and I'm pushing forty, but to be on Keto for a month and playing with the same three pounds as the only result made me want to burst into tears every time I stepped on the scale. I was absolutely convinced something was wrong and went to the doctor to have blood work done. Nothing stood out on the results except to be careful with my blood sugar. It's not pre-diabetes, but it was teetering a little too close for comfort. The doctor gave me this advice: being a mother is hard. And to stop gaining weight.<br />
<br />
Super helpful visit. Next, please.<br />
<br />
Thinking back, the one thing that was missing from my habits six years ago to my habits today is this blog. This online community gave me the support, not to mention, accountability to keep it up.<br />
<br />
So, I'm back. Between being a mom and my writing, I willingly acknowledge I may be piling too much on my plate, but I've also made a commitment to myself to make my health my priority right now. That means exercise first, book second. That's in the minutes between taking care of my son, of course. So technically he's first, exercise and diet second, book third.<br />
<br />
Unless I get an agent of course, then all bets are off. (Oh, I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope! Pick me, pick me, pick me, pick me!)<br />
<br />
So here's the next update: I have found something that I started a few weeks ago that seems to be working -- intermittent fasting. I've been doing the 5:2 program where I eat regular calorie restriction of net 1400 calories a day five days a week and two days I do a super-low calorie fast. So, I have a 600 calorie shake late morning two days a week and don't break the fast until the next morning. So far, five pounds have come off, and I need the support to keep going.<br />
<br />
I'll see you next week with another update!<br />
<br />
xoxo<br />
Bonnie<br />
<br />
p.s. As a fun trip down memory lane, here's my original post at this time in my journey the first time:<br />
<a href="https://the-thick-of-it.blogspot.com/2012/09/water-water-everywhere-and-every-drop-i.html">https://the-thick-of-it.blogspot.com/2012/09/water-water-everywhere-and-every-drop-i.html</a><br />
<br />Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-78623790425852406702013-08-18T11:20:00.000-07:002013-08-18T11:20:45.992-07:00An honest review of the diet clinic
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>1158</o:Words>
<o:Characters>6604</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>55</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>15</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>7747</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
August 18, 2013</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
40 pounds to go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUzxwLlnd4CNF4ntClzLolu5vOcRhnBd8J_yVIx8PK2d3pcT0nrmIVI2R8GQs4DqaepuG-I5TwzxoVQLT-YRtlWda8aSyLi7V9cPNbdUBAruu3zeEEQez8qKOsz1TFyLcI068YS7KLF_A/s1600/yup+you're+fat.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUzxwLlnd4CNF4ntClzLolu5vOcRhnBd8J_yVIx8PK2d3pcT0nrmIVI2R8GQs4DqaepuG-I5TwzxoVQLT-YRtlWda8aSyLi7V9cPNbdUBAruu3zeEEQez8qKOsz1TFyLcI068YS7KLF_A/s400/yup+you're+fat.JPG" width="378" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Imagine this: 457 days ago (a little over a year and a
quarter), uncomfortable, a little desperate and wide-eyed I walked into a
“medical weight loss clinic.” I had
gotten a certificate from our newspaper’s Groupon spinoff, so I patted myself
on the back for making a step towards good health and only investing $20!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I filled out an intake form with the normal blah blah questions, does
cancer run in your family, known allergies, and further medical history etc etc. Then came the moment of
truth – leading me over to the scale and my heart dropped. Next, I was shuffled into a patient room
where normal intake procedure continued.
A huge BMI chart shaded in different colors depending on if you fell
into “underweight,” “optimal,” “obese,” or “severely obese” adorned the wall, and I watched a grossly
overweight nurse find my height on the chart (a shrimpy 5’4) a run her finger
along the axis for way to my weight which was literally on the border between
“obese” and “severely obese.”
Severe? Are you shitting me? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She then started grilling me on what I typically eat in an
average day / week to determine my eating habits. On a final note, she took my blood pressure and then left the
room while I awaited the Doctor.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is the point when I started crying.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The doctor came in, a gloriously thin woman who had a kind
face. One that registered shock once she
realized I had been sitting there for 10 minutes sobbing my eyes out. She was gentle and went through her suggested
plan. She gave me all sorts of useful
basic tools that I had been completely ignorant of before this point: my resting
metabolism, target calorie intake per day, and breakdown of how many servings
of each food group I should have (i.e. 3 cups of veggies, 4 carb, 2 fat
exchanges, 6 meat). She stressed that I
should try and start walking everyday (the usual ‘exercise, just try it!’
approach that is always in one ear and out the other). I gathered myself between tears and said “I’m sure you have
lots of girls crying in your intake office.”
And the look back said, “um, no.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This was all the good stuff.
I felt like I had a plan. But we
weren’t done. Next came the discussion
of what dose of Phentermine I would like to use and whether it would be a 1 day
dose, or take the dose 3 times over the day with meals. She mentioned to only drink 1 cup of coffee
with it to see how I felt. I said, "1
day dose, I’m too lazy to remember over the course of the day." She then said good night and the nurse came
back in and administered a vitamin B12 cocktail shot into my ass which burned like a
mother fucker.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That night I kept running to the bathroom with terrible
diarrhea from the shot. My tummy
hurt. I was whiney. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next morning, I got up and thought, “here we go.” I popped my first pill and downloaded
myfitnesspal. (I would start logging the
next day) I drank a cup of coffee then
got ready for work. I felt fine, and
then once I arrived everything started glowing.
I shit you not, it was like everything suddenly developed an aura. And I was thirsty. So desperately thirsty. I remember it was a Friday because I had my
weekly department meeting at 9AM and I was hoping my staff wouldn’t notice I was
licking my lips like an overdosed meth addict and was consciously trying to
slow down my speech. All I could think of
was poor Ellen Burstyn in her red dress in Requiem for a
Dream. I actually spent my breaks
race-walking around the block to try and get the drug out of my system.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was a little scared.
I pulled up Goolgle and typed in Phentermine. It was the second drug in the infamous
Fen-Phen. It will give you a false
positive for methamphetamines on drug tests because it has the same basic
chemical structure.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I was on some generic look-alike to speed. At least, according to the Internet. I wondered if this was what those 50’s
housewives were on so they could ‘do it all.’<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next day I was grateful to have come down off my diet
high. I never took another one of those
pills.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Four days later I went to the clinic for my first check-in I
had lost 6 pounds. Go me! I had the pills in hand and said “I want to
give these back, I don’t like the way they make me feel and don’t want to be on
something that could potentially be addicting.”
There was a lot of bluster how they’ve never seen one of their patients
become addicted to Phentermine and it really wasn’t that dangerous. I asked if
she had any natural alternatives. To
which they did – Diucaps and an Accai cocktail which were considered a ‘natural
appetite suppressant.” My only interest
in taking them was the Diucaps were also something that helps relieve water
retention that I heard was a good mood stabilizer during ye ol’ period week.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To be quite honest I didn’t feel a huge difference between
taking the natural supplements and not taking them. I have notes in my diary that “I didn’t feel
quite right.” I stopped after 2 weeks.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next week I went back into the doctor for my next check
in. This time, the doctor did not see
me, only the grossly overweight nurse. I
got on the scale: 2 pounds lost. Go me! She was disappointed with my progress. The minute I sat down in the patient room she
asked me if “I was still drinking my beers.”
I said “no, I haven’t, but it was a harder week because I was on my
period and had two birthday dinners to get through.” She then launched into a speech on how beer
is too caloric and how I really needed to stop drinking it. (Hello McFly, I just told you I didn’t!) I tried to derail her by saying again, no, I
hadn’t drunk any beer and would you like to see my food diary so you can give
me some tips?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was at this point I realized I was sitting in a business,
not a genuine health clinic. This woman
didn’t give a shit about me or my habits.
The mean part of me thought, ‘who are you, morbidly obese lady to
lecture me on my alcohol intake when you can’t even bother to listen to me and
give me any genuine tips? Where is the
goddamn doctor?” That whole encounter
still makes my blood boil.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I went back for 1 more week before I abandoned the
clinic for food logging and my blog to keep me accountable. Admittedly, when I did talk to the doctor,
she gave me good tips on things to watch for.
She set me up with invaluable tools in my intake, and did give the
suggestion for a protein snack mid morning.
And she taught me about the advantage of eating low-glycemic foods. All the nutritional guidance was good.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another thing I should mention: the cost to go to this diet
clinic was $60-$100 per week depending on if they gave you the phentermine or
natural supplements. While, I’m sure
this is a fraction of the cost of doing illegal drugs to lose weight, it gets pretty pricey for the average Joe. (I googled
“what does speed cost “ for shits and giggles and probably just got flagged by
the government.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To recap, pros and cons:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pros:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nutritional guidance<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good tools for learning – resting metabolism, calorie
intake, etc.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Weekly weigh-ins keep you accountable.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cons:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They put you on a speed look-alike<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s expensive<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a business<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My word of advice when approaching these clinics is to keep
your caution cap on. Ultimately, it is a
business and they are there to make money.
It is not a nutritional or medical clinic who has your best health
interests at heart. The best thing is
that they helped get me on the wagon to health, but I’m the one who eventually
had to take the reigns and steer it for myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-55667102890814858332013-08-10T11:50:00.001-07:002013-08-10T11:50:47.874-07:00Falling off the wagon
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>749</o:Words>
<o:Characters>4275</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>35</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>10</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>5014</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
August 10, 2013</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
40.5 pounds to go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mrs. Bonnie Rebecca Bracken here. Married and BRB I unintentionally abandoned
my blog for the world of wedding events.
And I’ve ditched it just long enough that I’m a frightened bird
hesitantly hopping and pecking my way back to the computer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5WCXWDLWdFAqy-o__qrwOrkv8fL7z5aGapriPvdoEKymH3zjDpl6ZdCgNocOngYD7nyQxfBAS0pmQg_rwy99IOLH9IZYd2Sfx5XJtY-vWnFKvc77EtzVKdGbJyJJKY6dwHifhmdLNHY0/s1600/BonnieMike+(1034).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5WCXWDLWdFAqy-o__qrwOrkv8fL7z5aGapriPvdoEKymH3zjDpl6ZdCgNocOngYD7nyQxfBAS0pmQg_rwy99IOLH9IZYd2Sfx5XJtY-vWnFKvc77EtzVKdGbJyJJKY6dwHifhmdLNHY0/s400/BonnieMike+(1034).jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Who cares about calories when he got that garter off with his teeth?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve still been logging my food everyday (today = day 449),
even on my wedding day which consisted of potato chips and champagne for
lunch. Even on the plane ride to Hawaii
which served the last living airplane meal.
I tracked the welcome Mai Tai’s, the decadent dinners and long lounging
days by the pool. I was that crazy girl
who used the hotel gym (there were chilled towels!) and ran my first 5k out of
cocktail guilt. While it was a long walk
from the pool to the hotel room, I’m sure the calories burned did not equate to
the 3 drinks I had just consumed by the pool. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjdyOkJdWGMwkOZNfxJMfOybPTuQct4OfgEIoZTHRcyEJfTewCgH-VrC7gm-OGaNLv_DCbxC9XuA1ZgfWI-wa98DNMPD0JpvQcJVoYfq3T1o4P4-0b1IPuij7RGS86znOxMBS8hvqjAbs/s1600/IMG_1606.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjdyOkJdWGMwkOZNfxJMfOybPTuQct4OfgEIoZTHRcyEJfTewCgH-VrC7gm-OGaNLv_DCbxC9XuA1ZgfWI-wa98DNMPD0JpvQcJVoYfq3T1o4P4-0b1IPuij7RGS86znOxMBS8hvqjAbs/s320/IMG_1606.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">A bloody mary does not count as a vegetable. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The honeymoon was like a dream, I couldn’t be luckier with
my sweet husband. And we did manage to
eat and drink our way through the entire island of Kauai. But that’s what you’re supposed to do, right? I wasn’t completely going off the rails and
eating gigantic hamburgers for every meal – I tried to pick the healthy things
and still consistently ate my vegetables and ate on time. I worked out.
I got the dressing on the side.
But the alcohol – I ditched my white wine / corona light staple and
tried every tropical drink on the menu.
I walked the fine line of having a consistent buzz but never a hangover
for just about the entire trip. Not all
day, but some part of the day there was a buzz in there. Near the middle of the trip I turned to Mike
and said “If I had a dollar for every drink I took a picture of, we’d have a
lot of dollars.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijRPpYmt7pxvN4T20bJMgu4W_cOYchGksSEdMxcYToqsDmskPVnel4cz3aaiLGwcsnUivFPrJZFv3ksUs1hCl5c8T9X7_qU52WXPfPMHEVPf67ILSMCYwKdA5-h0BF7xT2nu7SmxHnI_U/s1600/IMG_1557.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijRPpYmt7pxvN4T20bJMgu4W_cOYchGksSEdMxcYToqsDmskPVnel4cz3aaiLGwcsnUivFPrJZFv3ksUs1hCl5c8T9X7_qU52WXPfPMHEVPf67ILSMCYwKdA5-h0BF7xT2nu7SmxHnI_U/s320/IMG_1557.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">This was my favorite.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the middle of the trip we had a lazy day of watching the Discovery Channel, eating room service and endless toffee chocolate covered
macadamia nuts a warning bell went off in my mind: “Old habits have
returned! Danger! Danger!” It only took 2 weeks and here I was sneaking
extra chocolates. A year and 2 months of
solid work and discipline, and 2 weeks is all it took to fall off the wagon. Then run to the swanky gym for my first 5k
ever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we got back to San Diego, I had that fateful moment of
stepping on the scale after the honeymoon.
I squeezed my eyes shut and then looked down. I had gained 8 pounds. Granted, some of it was period weight (sorry
Mom & Dad, no honeymoon baby) but I was shocked. I knew I hadn’t been great, but I didn’t
think I was that <i>bad</i>. Eight fucking pounds?? Holyshitsticks! You couldn’t get me off the elliptical
machine or the treadmill these past 2 weeks.
I’ve taken 5 of them off which puts me back at playing with these
endless 3 pounds for what feels like months.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve realized in the past few weeks that my body has reached
a happy medium. At my current rate of
exercise (2ish times a week) and net calorie goal (1400) this is the body I
will have. It’s a good one – at the cusp
of a size 10 and healthy. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsO4mUUDoC5C6xhyphenhyphen-kUuNA1LtoDWwiK07uAWx-9VJZO0xNnZkVekHw9KOO9uTazWeUJQvAuq_E467VAWJ6dp6pIqNAUEhuqFk4G1QqgNHr0RxX2k5AihsG5iHh6kUItUDCsjNH7v-lFP8/s1600/BonnieMike+(1075).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsO4mUUDoC5C6xhyphenhyphen-kUuNA1LtoDWwiK07uAWx-9VJZO0xNnZkVekHw9KOO9uTazWeUJQvAuq_E467VAWJ6dp6pIqNAUEhuqFk4G1QqgNHr0RxX2k5AihsG5iHh6kUItUDCsjNH7v-lFP8/s320/BonnieMike+(1075).jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">We looked good <i><u>and</u></i> burned calories!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, my ultimate goal is 40 pounds less than this (gasp)
because I want hit that 100 pounds lost number. I’d also like to know what it feels like to
have a flat belly and fat-less thighs.
It’s my stubborn nature that says “well, I said I was going to do it, so
goddamnit I’m going to finish no matter how long it takes.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But what will it take to finish? While I have good habits now, I know I’m
going to have to take it to the next level of a little more exercise and
netting out little less calories. (Probably
1200) Which means realistically I have
to exercise at least 400-500 calories off a day and only eat 1400-1500
calories. Groan. Even though it doesn’t seem like much
starting that good habit is about as enticing as an alligator eating my eye. And knowing it took me a solid 6 months to
really get used to the level I’m comfortable with now makes it even less
appealing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, my mind has dabbled with lose-weight-quick
scenarios. Just get this off of me. Google-ing “lose 30 pounds fast” and getting
lost in the internet pages of extreme dieting.
Juice fasting. Marathon
training. Joining a gym. A personal trainer. Pills.
“Supplements.” P90X. Brazilian Butt lift. (I own both)
The regular black hole of the diet industry that is alluring but not
sustainable. Double groan. I’ve been at this threshold for what feels
like too many times. Do not get sucked
in! Resist! The fact is I’m either going to start getting
up early and working out or forcing myself after work until it no longer feels
like a punishment. I own a pair of legs,
I just have to start using them more.
The key is to just start and not over-think it. Here I
go. It's time to create a new normal.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-26697555032633957692013-05-26T11:00:00.000-07:002013-05-26T11:00:21.409-07:00Celebrate the little victories
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>661</o:Words>
<o:Characters>3774</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>31</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>8</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>4427</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
May 26, 2013<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
38.4 pounds to go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last Saturday was my 1- year health birthday and in honor of
day 365 I’ll make a walking-cliché statement: it’s not a sprint it’s steady
climb to the top. Turtle and the
hare. Long term sustainability. Find something that feels like a habit not a
punishment. Stick with it. Don’t give up. Insert additional platitude here.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is no way to sprint to the finish line with weight
loss, unless you have the fat sucked off with a vacuum cleaner (i.e.
liposuction) and I can personally attest to my own impatience with the “this is
taking forever” (groaaan) feelings.
Since it’s happening so gradually sometimes it can feel like nothing. And when it feels like nothing, it’s easy to
give up. Then inevitably start another
sprint a few weeks later and drool over someone else’s long-term results.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think one of the most important tools of long-term success
is to celebrate the little victories.
Find the changes in your body that inspire joy, as big or little as it
may be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here are my little victories:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1) November 7, 2012 I woke up and realized my thighs no
longer chaffed when I walked. (Yes, I
wrote down the date) This is the one major thing that I look forward to every
time I get in shape. No more finagling
pantyhose or baby powder with skirts and dresses. I can just wear them and be comfortable.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2) I have to buy a new belt because I ran out of
notches. I always wondered why belts
came in small medium and large! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglmL17EmfGu112p0ds1jpbtZ2vuxJT2sMmGIeaIa8RZ_VPkhWmiKA_DkvbLj4gRF7-6Nz_eN_JTFP6wVsRiekUgc-iU9E2L2NkC8AmvtxrD1pkDs0q6mzrl43h-lA5pfnpnmFnz4TVrBA/s1600/IMG_1332.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglmL17EmfGu112p0ds1jpbtZ2vuxJT2sMmGIeaIa8RZ_VPkhWmiKA_DkvbLj4gRF7-6Nz_eN_JTFP6wVsRiekUgc-iU9E2L2NkC8AmvtxrD1pkDs0q6mzrl43h-lA5pfnpnmFnz4TVrBA/s320/IMG_1332.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">There are so many terrible jokes I can think of to insert here that I have to restrain myself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3) People wear belts to hold their pants up. I now have to do that. So belts aren’t just an accessory?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4) Two words: skinny jeans.
I have two pairs from college. I
got into the first one in December.
Commence prancing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5) Additional “I’m in the pants” dances. I had several old pairs that hung in my
closet for years and I’ve been slowly shrinking out of them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6) I can tuck my shirt in without a muffin top.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
7) My boobs are smaller.
Shrunk down 2 sizes so far. (I know for most women, this would make them
sad but I come from German stock. Even
when I’m skinny they’re huge! I’ve
always said if I could find a way to share I would.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
8) Making it up the stairs without wheezing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
9) Using a hotel towel and it wraps all the way around so I
look cute and not blobby. This is one of my favorite victories.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
10) I had to throw away all my size 16 pants. Even with a belt there’s no hope. I remember a year ago when they were getting
uncomfortably tight. (Although I did keep one pair for final ‘after’ pictures.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
11) One of my favorite summer shirts is so loose I looked
down and realized I could see my toes since it’s so baggy. This is now starting to happen with the next
size down. Need new shirts!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
12) No more baggy arms that keep waving after I stop. (Ladies, you know what I’m talking about)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
13) Thigh cellulite significantly reduced. This is one of those things that is nearly
impossible to get rid of no matter how hard I try. It’s a girl thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
14) I’m cold all.the.time.
Thank god summer is here.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
15) One word: collarbone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
16) I let people take pictures of me again. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
17) I can go into any store and try on clothes. Skinny stores tend to cut off at size 10-12.
(Here’s looking at you Ambercrombie.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
18) I can cross my legs comfortably.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
19) I can sit Indian style.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
20) I can cross my arms without pushing my boobs up to my
chin.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
21) I can hug my knees to my chest.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
22) I can see muscle tone on my calves and arms. Tummy, you’re next!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
23) It’s easy to trim my toenails. (To echo Louis C.K. the worst part of my day
is no longer putting on my socks.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
24) I can race you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
25) I’ve finally experienced a runner’s high. I always thought those guys were lying. If I had seen a glimpse of myself a year ago
preparing to go running I would have laughed.
Yeah right! Running. That’s stupid.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
26) I went bikini shopping for the first time without
wanting to stab someone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
27) My body fat percentage is in an acceptable range.
(Although, according to BMI charts I’m still not there which confuses me.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
28) I’ve lost 7 inches in my waist.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
29) My favorite – I have a pair of sleeping boxers with an
elastic waistband and I’ve shrunk out of the elastic circumference. They literally won’t stay up but I can’t seem
to part with them because my brother gave them to me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1pC4s7G3pZYJy4PgdCc4gwBgvBWHY9zkla3ecXHXIHbouQcec4FZNqPpqRpm4ESZCvwmKZ9JOvmUDPIPqfoBElEhoDfCZsdgZY3lgAdDchao_SD91IjkVZTv4lbXSbeF_ND100RaZX5c/s1600/IMG_1331.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1pC4s7G3pZYJy4PgdCc4gwBgvBWHY9zkla3ecXHXIHbouQcec4FZNqPpqRpm4ESZCvwmKZ9JOvmUDPIPqfoBElEhoDfCZsdgZY3lgAdDchao_SD91IjkVZTv4lbXSbeF_ND100RaZX5c/s320/IMG_1331.JPG" width="126" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">That's elastic.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not everything happens all at once, but I notice small
things as gradually as they happen and it makes me feel pretty amazing. Hail the conquering hero! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-90505289178362688842013-05-11T09:56:00.000-07:002013-05-11T09:56:06.569-07:00What was old is new again
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>646</o:Words>
<o:Characters>3687</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>30</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>8</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>4325</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
May 11, 2013<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
39.8 pounds to go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This past month has been a struggle. Truly.
I started slipping into ‘beat-myself-up-land-because-I’m
not-losing-weight.” I started
oversnacking. Overexercising. Struggling.
The endless whining internal dialogue of ‘why is this so hard for <i><u>me</u></i>? Why can’t I get over it? I’m never going to reach my goal. Sob.’
My thoughts were constantly creeping towards the side of what I wasn’t
doing and how much more weight I have to lose.
How it’s still a lot. The
inspections of my body became more frequent and more critical. Is this stomach acceptable? Still considered to big? Maybe if I squeeze it in 13 second intervals
it will start to look more sexy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRFNP0oks_LcQfi38IcnHoUepg-hPHhBeb9l2xtwR9IXmRxr-PRsh3Ha_QQkPAeFv9afaTKgIzkUcM_MZEKJHsPDWVyVjM59_1d_pPTXh113v_MyPXSLz2pDMinDYt5ZA3rWobUZLvwg8/s1600/IMG_1289.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRFNP0oks_LcQfi38IcnHoUepg-hPHhBeb9l2xtwR9IXmRxr-PRsh3Ha_QQkPAeFv9afaTKgIzkUcM_MZEKJHsPDWVyVjM59_1d_pPTXh113v_MyPXSLz2pDMinDYt5ZA3rWobUZLvwg8/s400/IMG_1289.JPG" width="352" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">But I want to keep moping!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Getting down on myself on a daily basis for what I hadn’t
accomplished was sucking me to the darkside.
It’s an old habit. A
pre-health-journey habit that I didn’t even realize I was participating in
because it’s so comfortable. And did I
come to that conclusion on my own? No, I
needed help. About a week ago I went into
my therapist ('get help when you can’t do it on your own' in action) because I
had slipped into random compulsive eating (get over here chips and cheese. Mmmm) and that hadn’t happened in at least 9
months. Why can I no longer control
myself? Help!<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I bitched about my weight and my alarm with my lack of
self-control. Then we started talking about other stuff. The wedding planning. The
family. The work. Work has been a struggle recently (specifics
are changed for the sake of my employment) and I surprised myself on how long I
went on about it. There isn’t a hard red
line sharpie mark from “my employees are idiots” <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">à</span>
“hand me the twinkie” because back in the winter I was under far more stress
and the weight was still steadily dropping.
The difference is “my employees are idiots and I give up trying to teach
them because it’s impossible.
Space. Please hand me the
twinkie.” That feeling of despair or
‘giving up’ is what makes friends with the bag of kettlecorn. Fill the impossible void.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then she gave me really good advice (which she always does):
treat my journey like I’m at the beginning again. Pretend I’m at the starting line.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which is impeccable timing because in my chapter outlines,
right around now I had planned on talking about that farewell meal ritual I
always plan for myself before I go on a diet.
A last supper to launch into the ‘new me’ which of course, never works
and is never as satisfying as I think it’s going to be. Although I do remember every meal I ate as a
splurge before each official start over the years. One time it was Arby’s. Then a big BLT. I always remember what I put in my mouth and
then the ensuing failure.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The difference this time with pretending to start over is
going back to last May and thinking about how I saw myself. How I saw this journey going. I
remember loathing exercise (which is still alive, but I force myself), scared
of the food and being drawn to red meat.
Recently I’ve been overexercising and cut out the red meat, so I decided
to flip those around.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, the biggest, glaring difference is that even though
I was ready to get on board with changing, I didn’t hate myself or my
body. I quite liked myself. Even though it was bigger I still felt
sexy. And now that I am 60 pounds lighter and
I started the daily beat-up. Of how not
sexy I am. Of how much more I have to
go. Of the daily belly inspection. So the biggest change I needed to make with
pretending this is the beginning was to be nice to me. It sounds silly but I forgot how to do
that. Be happy in the current package.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Although it may seem irrelevant, it’s the ever so slight
attitude adjustment of thinking: it’s not about what I don’t want. It’s about what I do want. It’s not about what I don’t like but what I
do like. Just changing the view from the
negative connotation “I don’t” to the positive “I do” has shifted me back onto
my path. What was old is new again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-17680276756082062752013-04-28T11:03:00.000-07:002013-04-28T11:03:54.491-07:00Using clothes instead of the scale to measure weight loss
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>841</o:Words>
<o:Characters>4797</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>39</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>11</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>5627</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
April 28, 2013<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
41.4 pounds to go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since I’ve been dealing with plateauville for a month, this
is the perfect time to switch gears and use my clothes instead of the scale to
make me feel good about myself.
Oftentimes when I hit a wall with losing weight, this is the first
back-up to jump into play. Well, I
didn’t lose any weight but look at how fabulous my ass looks in these
jeans! All is well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you google something like, “use your clothes to measure
weight loss” all sorts of opinions will pop up.
The scale is too hard to deal with.
Scales are hard on your self esteem.
Clothes are easier. Or: suck it up bitch and get on the
scale. There’s no concrete answer but
there is clearly a scale camp vs. clothes camp.
It’s up to you which side you want to take up arms and defend.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my opinion, using your clothes is a slippery slope. Yes, when I’ve had a tough time of it this
last month I will rock the skinny jeans or buy new shorts to prance in (they’re
florescent pink hotpants in case you were wondering) to remind myself of how
far I’ve come. It is absolutely perfect
for excuses. “Well, I haven’t lost any
weight this month but I’m pretty sure I gained muscle and fuck, just look how
awesome my ass looks in these jeans.” If
you stare at my ass long enough you will actually forget I own a scale. (It’s magic!)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not saying to not be proud of my current weight loss,
but it is a very convenient smoke and mirrors technique. If I change the subject people forget about
the first thing I was talking about.
It’s a bit of a psychological mindgame, but anyone who’s been on this
path will eventually play it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Down to the meat and potatoes of the argument, what makes switching
from scale to clothes so bad in the first place? The first question I have is, “are you
wearing clothes that currently fit you?”
If you’re on a journey to weight loss, you’re probably like me and hang
on to the too-big pants long after they should have been thrown away because
it’s tough (and expensive) to let go. If
my fatpants I should have thrown out are a size 14 and I’m currently a 10-12
there is going to be a lot of room to grow.
If I lose 2 pounds I’m not going to tell very well and if I gain 2
pounds I probably won’t realize it either.
For me personally, (as I’ve mentioned in previous blogs) it takes 10
pounds of weight los to lose an inch in my waist so if I’m wearing clothes that
are too big for me it’s easy to mask a gain or not realize a win.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“So what Bonnie?” you say.
“I wear clothes that fit me.” Ok,
fair enough. Riddle me this, if you’ve
had a tough week or two and those clothes are getting snug -- are you motivated
to work out more so they are not uncomfortable or are you the type of person to
say “fuck it” and buy a new pair of pants?
Depending on my mood and historical clothes buying I can really swing
either way. There is nothing more
annoying than those pants that have always made me feel awesome suddenly
biting me because I've put on a few pounds.
I have a skirt that’s adorable that I recently bought from Express but
it’s just a smidge too small on me. I’ll
wear it to work but when I get home it’s like a superman quickchange to get out
of it. I hate that feeling of being
uncomfortable. Whether it’s too-small
pantyhose that suck my legs like a vacuum cleaner or a blazer where I can’t
lift up my arms or cross them. And pants
that create a serious muffin top?
Ouch. To answer the question
myself I typically shelve the pants that are biting me until I get back on
track. I’ve been guilty of shelving
them for so long by the time I actually try them on again they’re swimming on
me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Getting back to the infernal ‘what is my dress / pant size?”
question from my Mythbusters size 12 blog, we can’t even be sure if we’re really
wearing a true size or a vanity sized item.
There’s a certain pride that comes with “Oh, these ol’ pants? They’re a size 10” that I can’t let go. Then deep in the back of my mind I know that
half my clothes in my closet are 12’s and they fit fine too even though I’ve
lost about 9 pounds since that entry.
So, to me, this means using your clothes only as a measure is extremely
dangerous as there is a lot of room to grow.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Getting into the niggling details of fit when losing weight,
there are four major stages I’ve noticed with a dress size:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1) It
doesn’t fit. (you can’t get the zipper
up / buttons closed)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2) I am a
squished sausage. (I’m in the pants, but
it’s only technical)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3) It fits.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4) It’s
loose.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One carrot I will throw to the ‘use your clothes’ argument
is when the clothes are in the ‘it fits’ category, I can tell from the fit as
little as a 2 pound swing whether I have gained or lost weight. I’ve even experienced it during this plateau
/ gain in the last month. I was pissed
that I put on weight even though I was exercising / hitting my calorie goals
yadda yadda yadda my new awesome butt jeans which fit perfectly got a little
snug. And now they’re not anymore.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, young grasshopper, there are both sides of the argument
with scale vs. clothes. Can you throw
your scale in a burning lake of fire and solely turn to your clothes as a
measure? Sure, but be very very careful.
If your clothes measure is amiss (i.e.
too big) you are in the red-line danger zone.
Ultimately, the scale can be devastating to my self esteem so it is very
tempting to abandon it altogether and go to excusetown with my clothes. I think everyone who’s ever tried to lose weight
has come to this crossroad -- my recommendation is to stick with the
scale. It may be a love-hate
relationship, but it is essential. <o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-29323800979445477462013-04-21T11:46:00.000-07:002013-04-21T11:46:36.726-07:00Grumblesauce
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>726</o:Words>
<o:Characters>4143</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>34</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>9</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>4860</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
April 21, 2013<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
41.5 pounds to go</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqCkdv6RdXEqwUYyk3CB8lZPiGv18hXENz0Mm_z7B1ELihJeYkxZxd_pqdVY4vKj6FoAhZb1Bez5F4MXKPmmqttyXQWkfRrWZ8az7t-ZdPK9gj40OHcq74p5nuLusXkhF3usaqNTKekIc/s1600/IMG_1260.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqCkdv6RdXEqwUYyk3CB8lZPiGv18hXENz0Mm_z7B1ELihJeYkxZxd_pqdVY4vKj6FoAhZb1Bez5F4MXKPmmqttyXQWkfRrWZ8az7t-ZdPK9gj40OHcq74p5nuLusXkhF3usaqNTKekIc/s400/IMG_1260.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">If you're not cheating, you're not trying.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These past few weeks have been infuriating when it comes to
my weight loss. I’ve essentially been
playing with the same 2 pounds for a little over a month and they just wont
seem to get lost. In the beginning I
knew it was my fault – it was my emotional issues with the numbers and then I
ate too much. So I faced it, and got
back on track with my regular calorie goals.
Then my period hit which is the automatic one-week stall I expect every
month. These past 2 weeks I said “I’m really
going to get serious about this again” and I started exercising like a maniac and (drum roll) nothing! The scale went up -- how is that possible??!!#%$^*@#!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This begs two questions: one, am I rationalizing with the “I
probably converted fat to muscle” question?
I still don’t know how long that takes but if it only takes 2 weeks of
running 3 times a week to gain a pound of muscle, then that’s what’s
happened. The other question is I
wonder if I’ve accidently kicked my body into starvation mode by going to
extreme with the exercise and calorie intake.
Am I retaining water? Eating too
much salt? I practically was the salad
queen this last week to try and nix out that possibility. What is it is the magic answer? Sometimes I wish my body could literally
speak to me and say “just stop eating x,y,z and exercise four times a week and
I will adhere to your weight loss commands.”
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One thing I’ve learned with the two other plateaus I’ve
experienced already in August and December is that once I stop stressing about
introducing extreme exercise and just hit my calorie goal then eventually the
scale starts dropping again. I just have to be patient. (and that's retarded.) It reminds
me of trying endlessly to see those blurred out “Magic Eye” pictures in the 90’s. I spent countless hours staring at those books. And to quote Kevin Smith’s
“Mallrats” I could never see the fucking sailboat. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1XUclN-9vYGDRGPugy9TFSvIgg1gVWBR8BMjKSC5OcIr7pFuRDCNZ0gGa-GSjdfvHqcsU_jPAIjxyQOD82l1HYiGwjX3J8nOMANu8vDBwfJC54bw4cVriiLL-NuVqZkhnt1XW18M2Dhc/s1600/IMG_1263.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="340" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1XUclN-9vYGDRGPugy9TFSvIgg1gVWBR8BMjKSC5OcIr7pFuRDCNZ0gGa-GSjdfvHqcsU_jPAIjxyQOD82l1HYiGwjX3J8nOMANu8vDBwfJC54bw4cVriiLL-NuVqZkhnt1XW18M2Dhc/s400/IMG_1263.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Ok, I admit it. I've never seen a goddamn thing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once I stop fixating it becomes easier to get back on track. Just like with those blurry pictures. Anyway, it doesn’t make it any less
frustrating. What I’ve realized and have
had to re-learn three times now is that when I go extreme (300 or more under
net calorie goal per day) I don’t lose weight.
And when I’m over my daily calorie goal by 150 or more calories I don’t
lose weight. It’s like there’s this
razor edge of balance that I have to walk otherwise the scale isn’t going to
move. And that’s really between 1350 and
1450 net calorie intake a day. What
really amazes me is that the window is that fucking small. It’s not fair! What if I’m craving French fries? Can’t I write my congressman a very
persuasive letter and get a law passed to change the calorie window to lose
weight? No? Grumblesauce.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s funny because near the beginning of this journey –
around July -- I calculated out a progress chart on the average weight loss I was
experiencing per month and broke it down to project how long it would take me
to get down to my goal. I had two
different pacing scenarios – one where I would have hit my 100 pound goal right
about now, and one where I predicted it would happen in September of this
year. What I didn’t project was three
goddamn plateaus in the process, and who knows how many more I will experience. At this rate, I’ve lost about 11 pounds in
the last 3 and a half months which means it could potentially take another YEAR
to get to ultimate goal. Heavy sigh.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s the thing, I’ve already changed my ways with my food
so it’s not like I’m going to say ‘fuck it’ and start eating Jack in the crack
for every meal or stock up on bonbons to skyrocket into "I give up" land. If I just keep going which I plan on doing
anyway since it’s now my lifestyle, who cares if it takes another year? Then the other side of me says “gaawwwwdddd,
it’s sooooo long.” (that’s what she
said)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The other major rationalizer that kicks in is “did I set my
goal too high? Should I be happy with a final number that’s not ultimately 100
pounds lost? On one hand, maybe. The other day on my mid-week weigh when the
scale yet again didn’t move I went on a mad google-ing spree of healthy body
fat percentages to see where I fell on the chart. To my surprise I came in at 31-32% body fat
which is right on the cusp of an acceptable range for my age and gender. Technically 32 and over is overweight. But according to the BMI charts I have at
least 22 pounds to go which in the long run really isn’t that much. Again, it begs the question: what is healthy? What is normal? Where should I set the bar and my expectations? Is it like standardized testing? Use this as a guide but not something to define my life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the other hand with my ultimate 100-pound goal, I set it
and I’m going to see it through no matter how long it takes. I’m a capricornic goat and goddamnit I’m
stubborn and I’m going to do it. Get out
of my way. I’m not a ‘fuck it, now is
good enough’ kind of person. I will
persist. Even if I do have to put up with these plateaus and bouts of rationalization. It comes with the territory, but to be honest I didn't think I would have to deal with it quite this much. I keep thinking that there will come a day where I don't bargain with the scale or my food anymore and the weight will continue to come off and a semi-rapid clip. Maybe it never ends, and that's the key to staying healthy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-52600402977142029292013-04-06T11:08:00.001-07:002013-04-06T11:08:49.914-07:00It is legal to still love food
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>1192</o:Words>
<o:Characters>6801</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>56</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>15</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>7978</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
April 6, 2013<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
39.4 pounds to go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think when people think ‘healthy choices’ it translates to
‘boring and tasteless food.’ If we’re
changing our ways for good we’ll be stuck with salad without dressing,
salt-less dry chicken and steamed vegetables.
We can’t ever eat a slice of cake, piece of chocolate or anything
delicious ever again (sob). We’re
innately trained that if we care about the taste we must be wanting too much or
placing too much dependence on the food.
The guilt kicks in for really loving the hollandaise sauce on my eggs
benedict. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what if I eat my food with gusto? I’m allowed to enjoy a 600 calorie meal just
as much as a 1500 one. The real
difference lies in the level of indulgence.
I’m creeping up on the year mark of changing my ways (anniversary coming
on May 18<sup>th</sup>!) and I remember vividly that I would get ‘treat’ food
every day. And I would eat a lot of it. I drank beer almost every day because I
was fixated on IPAs and the craft beer market that has exploded in San
Diego. Every meal was planned for how
special and how large it was going to be.
When I got near to the tipping point of wanting to change, I realized
that by making every meal a special meal it took all the sparkle away. In fact, picking out what I wanted started to
become more and more boring and the ‘taste joy’ started to slip away.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first food item I learned how to ration was beer. On day 1 when I downloaded MyFitnessPal I
went through searching for craft beers that were reasonable (around a 100
calories a glass) which didn’t exist.
Unless it’s light (tasteless) beer, it’s 150 and up. The 1-2 bottles I was drinking almost
everyday was the equivalent of my breakfast calories or 700-1400 calories a
week which means ½ pound of weight gain per week if I kept it up. I simply couldn’t have it anymore at that
level of indulgence. So my first
commitment was to have a single beer just once a week. And when Mike and I would go out for that one
drink, man, did it taste amazing. The
level of joy and appreciation skyrocketed from ‘this is getting boring’ to
‘drinking the beer with gusto.’<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know I’ve gone into detail with food choices in previous
blogs so I won’t hammer it to death again here. But as a side note the next food items that
went to rationing were French Fries, any kind of pastry / cookie, and
hamburgers (hello “Islands” turkey burger, 620 calories of yum). Those went down to the once-a-month frequency
and often when I’m having my ‘treat’ day I don’t even talk during my meal that
much because I really want to enjoy my food.
I also can’t emphasize enough that I often pick something that is more
calorie dense and just eat half rather than pick something light that I have to
force-feed myself. In the past I would
go on a diet and choke down that tasteless salad and dry chicken and it would
make me grumpy and unsatisfied. If I
don’t like it, I’m not going to eat it.
Especially when I go out to a restaurant and everyone else has something
scrumptious and I’m stuck with crap. I end up scavenging off other people’s plates
and eating more than I budgeted for. Are
you going to eat the rest of your fries?
Yes? Well, me too. You better order more. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In short, food has shifted from a major focus to a minor
one. But I still enjoy my minor
encounters everyday. And sometimes I
don’t even care about what’s going in my mouth, I just need to re-up my power
levels. If someone told me a year ago I
wouldn’t care what I was having for lunch I wouldn’t have recognized
myself. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another thing that happened with the ‘just enjoying what I
can have’ shift is the ability to hear the alarm bells of over-indulgence. It’s really a two-part warning system in
place. The first flare goes up when I’m
full. Then if I keep eating past that
point the food becomes tasteless. Or if
it’s sugar it starts to hurt the back of my throat. This is the full blast submarine screaming
alarm. “STOP! YOU WERE DONE 10 MINUTES
AGO! WARNING! WARNING!” In the past I
didn’t care, I’d just keep going until my plate was cleared and often go hunting
for more food when I was done. Even now,
occasionally I’ll feel wired, grumped-out and determined to eat a whole tin of
espresso pillows from Trader Joes. Then
when I get about halfway, the alarms kick in and I ask myself “why the hell am
I doing this?” It’s as if I still have
to test the weaknesses in the fence to see if they’re still there. In the past I chose to ignore them, but now I
pay attention and I feel guilty if I don’t stop. It’s iron-clad. If I’m not supposed to eat my body freaks out
and tells me to stop. Even about a month
ago I was having a shit time trying to sleep so I got up and started wandering
around my house. My old self appeared
and went to the fridge to rustle up something that would make me sleepy. I ate a cheese wedge and felt instantly
anxious because I knew it was not designated eating time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another protection-measure my body put in place now is the
aversion to shitty food. It’s more than
an aversion, it literally makes me sick.
My definition of shitty food is fast food. Jack N the Box, Carls Jr, McDonald’s, Burger
King, Taco Bell and even In N Out is on a very fine line of crossing into
shit-town. I never eat this stuff. The other day I was coming home from a
business trip in LA and I was starving so I pulled of into a strip mall which I
thought would have plenty of choices.
The only place there was Jack N the Box, (it was that or Krispy Kreme)
so I thought “well, what the hell, I’ll try the teriyaki bowl. That fucker is 690 calories and tiny. I ate half of it and became instantly
constipated which stayed with me for an entire day. I came home and was dying for broccoli. And strawberries. My body wants all the good stuff now, not the
crap. All the things I’m allowed to have
are now the things that I want to have.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The signals my body gives me with food is like muscle
memory. It bounces back with practice. As long as I listen for them, I can still eat
the things I enjoy and I don’t feel guilty for still liking food because I’ve
gotten better at stopping when I need to.
It goes back to ‘ye ol’ body
awareness.’ I won't beat another dead
horse but the signals can be so subtle that they’re easy to miss if I don’t
listen. I'll bring in an off-the-subject
example of body awareness to demonstrate my point. A few months ago I was experiencing some extreme light sensitivity
because I started frequently getting migraines with aura. Or at least, I thought I was experiencing
extreme light sensitivity. Every morning
when I was going to work I was seeing what can best be described as brown
spider-webs across my vision. They would
start at the top of my eye and float down.
It didn’t stop after 2 weeks so I freaked out one day after they had
been particularly frequent. I called up
the doctor and went in for an emergency appointment. They dilated my eyes and took a look for the
health of my eye and everything was normal.
What I was seeing was the network of blood vessels in my eyes. My doctor told me “it is very rare, but we
have found in studies when people are extremely aware of their bodies, they can
see the blood vessels in their eyes.
There are even some cases of people being able to see the pulse of their
heartbeat in their eye. So what you’re
experiencing is actually really cool.”
And I thought, people can see their own heartbeat? I wanna see!
A few weeks later I was relaxed and in the tub and there it was. A pulsing light in the corner of my eye that
matched my heartbeat. And then I went
into a deep relaxation and saw the entire network of blood vessels in my eye
just like a picture from a medical manual.
I still see those shadows every day but now they don’t freak me out,
they’re a signal that I’m paying attention.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Getting back to the food, I realize that it’s not the one
joy in my life, but it is a joy. And
that’s ok. It’s the balance I’ve been
able to find after months of practice and paying attention.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-14809032622493494362013-03-30T09:19:00.000-07:002013-03-30T09:19:15.975-07:00Thin Fantasy vs. Reality
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>808</o:Words>
<o:Characters>4610</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>38</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>10</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>5408</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
March 30, 2013<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
40.5 pounds to go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been avoiding writing this blog for about a month
now. When I first started dieting and
even before, I would say to myself “I would give anything to be 60 pounds
lighter.” Not my goal, not skinny, but
just more <i>comfortable</i>. It’s another one of those weird
self-negotiations. “God / Universe /
Powers that be please don’t help me lose 100 pounds but I’d give anything to
get halfway.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m guilty of having a number in my head that is the trigger
for this in-between self-negotiation.
I’ve thought about this number since the beginning: this is when I would begin to look and feel normal. When I would no longer be fat. I wouldn’t be skinny either, just
fit-in-with-everyone-else weight. And
it’s only .5 pounds away. I saw it for a
brief glimpse last weekend but I think it frightened me so I wasn’t so
great with my food this week. Not
terrible, just not that great. I don’t
think I was quite ready to become friends yet.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In short, my thin fantasy isn’t really a ‘thin’ fantasy, it
is a ‘normal’ fantasy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what happens when you begin to fantasize about weight
loss? The same delusions for other
fantasies still apply. But I find these
are the top 5 things I think will magically happen when I become thin:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1) I will become popular.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2) People will see me for I really am, not the fat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3) All my problems will go away.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4) People wont judge me negatively for my appearance.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5) I’ll get my way all the time / people will be nicer to
me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The thing is, these notions weren’t kicking in for when I
get to the ultimate goal number, they were kicking in with the ‘now’
number. And where am I now? I threw out 4 bags of clothes a few weeks ago
because they were hopelessly baggy on me.
I’m comfortably in a size 10. I’m
trying not to buy too many clothes because they only fit me well for about a
month. My gut has gone away and turned
into a belly. I get at least one person
a day noticing that I’ve lost weight. I
can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “you just keep shrinking, soon there
won’t be anything left!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I see myself as still on a path, but others seem to see me
at the finish line. When I look in the
mirror I feel good, and almost revel in disbelief that I’ve made it this
far. I put on shirts and remember when I
couldn’t even button them up and now they’re too big on me. I’ve had to buy new bras because the band
size has shrunk from a 38 to 34. Many of
my rings are now too big on me. My
pantyhose are too big on me, which I didn’t even think was possible. When I do go shopping I find myself reaching
for the size 12’s, 14’s and XL’s still because there’s no way I’m going to fit
into anything else. And then they’re
too big! When I went to try on wedding
dresses back in January I was wearing a skirt, suit jacket and pantyhose and
when she put me in the first dress she was like “holy shit, you are hiding some
curves under there.” And I think to
myself, ‘I was hiding? Really? I didn’t even realize.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I’ve been fantasizing about getting to this weight and
how normal I would feel and gain “fit-in-ness” but everyone’s noticing, and I’m
not necessarily blending in, I’m standing out.
Even though I still often subconsciously wear clothes that are too big
so I wont. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s almost as if I play down the attention because I don’t
want to get thrown off track. The more I
think about what others think of me, the more I go running to the fridge for
more string cheese. Calm my nerves oh
sweet nutella!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It goes back to, thank god I’m doing this slowly because it
gives me time to get used to all the change.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Getting back to the standard fantasies that come along with
weight loss, when I think back to the beginning of this journey and my goal weight the biggest thought that
stood out was all the fat bias would go away. People wouldn’t refer to me as overweight /
obese, they wouldn’t associate my capabilities with my weight, (i.e. I must be lazy because I was fat) and
things would just be a little bit easier for me. The good old “skinny people don’t have any
problems” line stuck in my head. Which
of course, is total bullshit. There are
all sorts of biases associated with skinny people (bitches) which are also
totally untrue. And they have problems
just like everyone else. They’re just
doing it in a different package.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even at my stage now, only a half a pound away from my
‘normal’ fantasy my job and workload hasn’t gotten any easier with my weight
loss. The way people treat me hasn’t
really changed. That’s one bucket. In the other bucket is the compliments and
the noticing. They’re mutually exclusive
which is also a hard concept to grasp. I
think I wasn’t ready to cope with meeting the reality of what the number I’ve
thought about for so long. So instead I
went cake tasting and ate a lot of salad with too much dressing on it this
week. It’s why I was avoiding this blog
because I’m not quite sure <i>how</i> to
interpret my new reality. Am I thin? Am I normal?
Am I ready to embark on the next leg of this journey? It’s like getting on the scale after a food
fest. It’s really scary and I don’t want
to look at the number, but then when it shows up it’s not so bad. I know what I’m dealing with and stop
worrying about the ‘what if’s.’ Facing
it is, by far, the hardest part. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As humans, I think we're still programmed to fantasize about 'how things might be." Now that I'm ready to get over this hump I'm sure these fantasies will make a comeback, just with a new number in mind. I know deep down the reality will probably be different and that's ok. I've been thinking for the last month that I wasn't thin enough to write this blog with courage and reality, but it turns out I am. And even if I'm not, goddamnit I wrote this anyway. It's done. I've faced it. I'm ready to keep going.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-45339383704291244612013-03-16T19:11:00.000-07:002013-03-16T19:11:45.552-07:00The Dreaded Plateau
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>1061</o:Words>
<o:Characters>6050</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>50</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>14</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>7097</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
March 15, 2013<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
40.5 Pound to go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is nothing like working hard all week with calorie
counting and exercise then getting on the scale on Saturday morning to sing the
“what the fuck?!>@*^%#$” song. It
doesn’t move. Or the needle goes up. What’s even worse is when 2 weeks go by with
no movement. Then if a third week or
more passes by true frustration sets in.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When it’s only one week of no-scale-budging standard
rationalizations get me through the morning.
I know I wasn’t as good this week or my period is coming and I forgot
(again). Every month I have at least
one week of no movement with the scale because of the dreaded period
bloat. But at least I know (most of the time) it’s coming
so it doesn’t make me too upset.
Although some days I still grumble and kick the cat. It can’t be helped. Mike can tell by the look on my face if it
was a good scale day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like I said, it’s when those 2 or more weeks go by when I
start to wonder what’s wrong. I find the
number-one-favorite-all-time excuse people use when they’re not losing is “oh,
don’t worry, you probably just converted fat to muscle so you are still losing
you just can’t tell.” The thing is,
after scouring the internet and trying to do some research with fitness gurus,
how much work does it actually take to convert a pound of fat into a pound of
muscle? How long does it take? The stark truth is that nobody seems to know
the conversion. They’re good at
platitudes like:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh, don’t worry just keep going, it will come off!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re toning what you have.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You have to lose the fat before you see the muscle.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Umm, thanks for the encouragement but none of these answers
give me facts that I can work with and half of them don’t even answer the
question I asked. I want a straight
answer like strength training twice a week for a half an hour will build a
pound of muscle? Or is it three times a
week? Cardio exercise in general four
times a week? How about major hiking on
the weekend? Still, no clue.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From my own experience, this is what I’ve found with the
great fat to muscle ratio question:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">1) </span><u>Extreme exercise:</u> I’ve noticed when I go
to the extreme with exercise where I hit under my net calorie goal by 300
calories or more every day for a week [Math: 1600 calories of food minus 500
calories exercise equals 1100 net calories for the day and 300 under goal] or
more I don’t lose weight. This also
means for the week I’m somewhere between 1500-2000 under my net weekly goal.
[9800 net weekly calorie goal]. My guess
is I’m either building muscle or kicking my body into starvation mode.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">2) </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span><!--[endif]--><u>Strength Training:</u> I did do the P90X
program going on 2 years ago now. I did
it faithfully, every day only taking 1 day off a week to rest. I think I made it around the 70 day mark
before I gave up. My best guestimate is
I put on 10-15 pounds of muscle with this program.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The other excuse I use a lot that I actually believe is true
is a body recalibration. There are many
scientific math things happening with the chemistry of my body that I can’t
even begin to understand, but I do know that naturally it wants to preserve fat
“for later.” The just-in-case survival situation so you won’t die if you
can’t get to food. I believe (again, I
don’t have any facts to back this up, just feedback I’ve gathered over the
years) if you begin to lose weight rapidly your body goes “whoa! Hang on a
minute. Not so fast! This could be an emergency. Put on the breaks. No more fat leaves this body without level 7
security clearance.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisVqwvS3Ht3YhoHMh6dRFb_thRX11umQr-3XXFSj9aoo8r-a-1COOjMCsMUKP6Ux2q_bNq7D4FxXzXDszQ9HHM-4SSe7-EPrF0nEf8Vc5PaWnTTHCk8hAA4lr6QfONo7p_WPBn3DmQkyI/s1600/fat+overboard.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisVqwvS3Ht3YhoHMh6dRFb_thRX11umQr-3XXFSj9aoo8r-a-1COOjMCsMUKP6Ux2q_bNq7D4FxXzXDszQ9HHM-4SSe7-EPrF0nEf8Vc5PaWnTTHCk8hAA4lr6QfONo7p_WPBn3DmQkyI/s400/fat+overboard.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Technically, I think this is what they call starvation mode.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My proof to back up this claim is the weight where my body
tends to plateau. It happens
suspiciously at weights I’ve spent a great deal of time at in the past. In August when I hit my first plateau for
almost a month but it was also the same weight I had been it for the previous
2-3 years. My body was used to it. In the past I’ve always plateau’ed at what
will be the 26 pounds to go mark because I spent almost all of high school
there and a big part of college.
Chemically, I think it’s the power of the familiar.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So how do you get past the hump? Answer: change. (groan.)
If you get into a routine where you eat the same exact thing every week
– even if it’s at your goal, your body will adapt. If you do the identical elliptical machine
work out for weeks on end, your body will also adapt. The change doesn’t have to be a butt-buster
extreme workout routine replete with diet pills and 1100-calorie-a-day
starvation but something small. Switch
up your vegetables. Crack down on the
MyFitnessPal tracking if you’ve been getting lax with not logging the extra
cookies. Try different proteins. Cut out one food item you think may make a
difference. (My experiment recently is
cutting back on red meat. In August with
the first plateau is when I experimented with cutting out gluten and it
worked.) If you walk every day try
walking every other day and mixing it up with weight training. Throw in sit ups and push ups before you go
to bed. Typically doing one small thing
differently is what gets me past the hump.
That and pressing onward even though I’m frustrated.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The biggest thing with the “change” advice is when I say
“change up your routine” oftentimes people hear “go exercise like a rabid
monkey and stop eating.” To which I say: never underestimate the power of lowering the bar with your expectations.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Put in another way, have you ever experienced something like
this at work?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgustSR9uPta3vH2z5hoCBIuuxK6Bh5eU8rWs9hwIwhh6xlZpYiFHZHpoExAzxer6Pc9Z3wDTlwC5AzYVchYyhlZT8o074eTXnr4Z7VkUrZ7-ro_OUCbKVT5mC_-e9Ga_qF4ukjSopZs4w/s1600/your+expectations+are+amiss.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="361" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgustSR9uPta3vH2z5hoCBIuuxK6Bh5eU8rWs9hwIwhh6xlZpYiFHZHpoExAzxer6Pc9Z3wDTlwC5AzYVchYyhlZT8o074eTXnr4Z7VkUrZ7-ro_OUCbKVT5mC_-e9Ga_qF4ukjSopZs4w/s400/your+expectations+are+amiss.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I've said both at work and gotten more praise when I said they were nuts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When it comes to
weight, I think we expect to act like rabid starving monkeys and lose 5 pounds
in a week when in reality it’s almost impossible to do. You either kick your body into starvation
mode and it holds onto the fat or you couldn’t possibly cut enough calories in
a week to lose 5 pounds. However, normal
weight loss is 1 pound a week and rapid weight loss is more than 2 pounds a
week. If you go into this journey
expecting to lose 2 pounds or more a week consistently; honey your expectations
are amiss. Lower the bar. It will make you happier. And give you a goal you can achieve rather
than chucking the whole thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>88</o:Words>
<o:Characters>508</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>4</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>595</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once in awhile there’s still a freak weight-gain when you’ve
been good or a plateau you can’t explain.
A few weeks ago I got sick and gained 5 pounds but it came right off at
the end of the week once the last of the congestion drained. I had no idea it was possible to gain 5
pounds of boogers. As I’ve said no less
than eight hundred thousand times already keep pressing on my friend. I know it’s a platitude and I mocked it
earlier in this blog, but it’s the only option left. These past 2 weeks I didn’t lose and finally
did this morning. So, take it from me –
I’m living it right now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-48955779298702719452013-03-03T14:17:00.000-08:002013-03-03T14:17:48.915-08:00What the fuck is normal?March 3, 2013<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
42.2 pounds to go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ever since I started college, I’ve yo-yo’ed with weight. First put on 40 pounds. Then lost 50 pounds (low carb). Then put on about 20 pounds by the time I
graduated. After college I packed on
another 55 pounds to the 20. Then came
Optifast in 2004 and I lost 80 pounds.
Then from 2005 – 2012 I regained the 80 pounds. In 2011 I lost about 25 pounds (P90X) then
put it back on plus 15. I feel like of
the 15 years of my adult life I’ve either been in the process of not caring
about my weight and letting it creep on or drastically dieting. I’ve never had any awareness of ‘normal’ and
I’ve only seen the ‘healthy range’ twice: once when I lost the weight in college for about a month and then again
in 2004 for about 2 months. I have no
real experience reaching a healthy weight and maintaining it. It’s always been too hard. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since I’ve only had brief glimpses of what it’s like to be
‘skinny,’ I also don’t have any real
knowledge of what it feels like, or what to expect. I have no idea what ‘normal’ is. Technically, I’ve been overweight just about
my entire adult life – that’s what I know and that’s what feels normal to
me. It’s what I’m used to. Even now, I feel terrific and thin although
according to the charts I have at least 32.2 pounds to go. It’s like my logical brain gets it, but my
emotional brain is completely confused.
How can this body I have right now not be considered healthy? It’s so comfortable! And I look good!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even typing this now, I feel the hives of anxiety prickling
on my back. For fuck’s sake, I don’t
want to talk about this. It is so damn
uncomfortable – like poking my soft underbelly that doesn’t want to be
touched. I have to admit that I have no
idea what it feels like to be ‘physically normal.’<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This would explain why I’ve had emotional freak-outs about
every 10-15 pounds on my current journey.
The first anxiety attack came on July 18, 2012 at 22 pounds lost. That weight is where I had been from about
2009 – 2011. It was my most recent body
I had become accustomed to, and I had to say goodbye. That was the body I had been promoted to
manager in, the one where people recognized me as professionally
excellent. The one I started dating my
fiancé in. The one he found sexy. Where I felt sexy and loved and found –
finally. Then it happened again at 30
pounds lost around August 25<sup>th</sup>.
This is the body I was promoted from assistant to account
executive. The one that the competing
paper recruited me in. That I was called
the ‘best rep they had ever had in their department.’ The one where I got the call to go back to my
old company because they missed me so badly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then at 50 pounds lost mark in December I didn’t even
believe it. I got on the scale, and then
got off again for about 10 minutes in my bathroom that morning. I still didn’t believe it. I had reached the point of original weight
gain in college. This is the body my
whole lindy-hopping dance scene which I was obsessed with from 2005-2007 knows
me to be before the weight started creeping on again. Now, here is a form of myself that I haven’t
seen in ages. The shock felt
inexplicably like depression. What the
fuck does that mean?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even now, I’ve lost another 7.8 pounds since the 50 pound
mark and I’m in completely new territory.
I never spent very long at this particular weight point – it’s always
been a passing through territory – either up or down. No one really knows me at this size. Hell, I don’t even know me at this size. There are wisps of thoughts such as “will
people still like me for me in my new form?”
“Will they still recognize my intelligence in the new package?” The answer, hopefully, is yes – but there
are weird behaviors by those around me that are negative that are also hard to
cope with.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like, for example – the winking ratio has gone up
recently. I find that cute, yet also
schmoozy. Point to ring finger. Totally taken dude. On the opposite end, there was a guy at work
who was always overly-friendly to me and now that I’ve gotten visibly skinner
is a total dickbag. What is your
problem? I was never available to you in
the first place, but this behavior is confusing and at the same time
exhausting. I’ve had boyfriends in the
past when I’ve lost weight accuse me of getting skinnier so I could get away
from them. That came out of left field
and was completely untrue (at least for me) – the only reason I truly want to
lose weight is for myself so I feel better – not to hurt or harm anyone around
me. In short, sometimes my weight loss
triggers behavior in someone else that has nothing to do with me, yet sometimes
it’s hurtful behavior. It’s hard to
deal with, but I’ve been trying to have thicker skin about it this time around
since I know it’s coming.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Does this all really just boil down to ‘no one likes change,
and just try to do what makes me happy?’
Yet, I’m dealing with both sides of the coin – on one side I don’t like
change and on the other I’m losing weight for myself. Push pull.
Push pull. It’s like emotional
diarrhea. After all these trips to the
bathroom, I’m hoping it will run its course and I’ll feel good at the end of
it. It’s all new, and I guess all forms
of me could be considered normal. I
think I just need to strap on my seat belt a little tighter and buckle in tight
for the rest of the ride.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-5445301234377713292013-02-25T12:17:00.002-08:002013-02-25T12:17:24.229-08:00Get help if you can’t do it on your own.
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>1231</o:Words>
<o:Characters>7020</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>58</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>16</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>8235</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
February 25, 2013<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
43.9 pounds to go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am a Capricorn and live up to my stubborn goat
nature. I don’t care if no one else can
accomplish x, y, z, I am going to do it better and without any help, thank you
very much. You are an idiot for your
inability to perform and I must be weak if I can’t do it on my own.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This of course, is rubbish, but nonetheless it’s ingrained
in my core, so I have a hard time letting it go. I’ve been headstrong for as long as I can
remember -- when I was five years old I came marching in after pre-school and
demanded my parents stop calling me Dolly (my nickname up until that point) and
call me Bonnie because that was my <b><i>name</i></b>. I kicked my mom out of my room to dress
myself and tie my shoes at a very early age and I remember saying “stop it, I
can do it myself” <b><i>a lot</i></b>. Throughout my life, people say “I don’t know where she gets it from” and “she’s
always been a self starter,” but I don’t even know where it comes from. It’s been there before cognitive thinking
even took root in my brain. Was I born
with it? I don’t know. Maybe.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even now, I have an extremely difficult time asking for
help. With work, I have a bad habit of
taking on too much and delegating some lesser responsibilities
can feel like tearing off an arm. I feel
the constant need to prove myself (especially now that my company was acquired
and I'm once again a the bottom of the food chain) and
since I am a producer, I tend to get more tasks dumped on me because I can
handle more than most. It takes a lot of
courage to say “I need help” or “I need to move this project or account to
person x, y, z” because then it would seem like I can’t handle my job. And then if I can’t handle it they’ll
consider me weak. And if they consider
me weak then I’m going to get fired. It
triggers a destructive line of thinking which doesn’t do me any good. What I need to do is admit that I
need to task some responsibilities and and not worry
about what people might think of my performance.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Does this mean I ask for help every single time that I need
it? No.
I still get stubborn. What I find
happens when I don’t ask for the help I need is grump-master-McGee emerges. I compartmentalize
my frustration and then that frustration is always there instead of being
released. Then I get angry because I
need help. And then another task is
dumped on me when I’m already at capacity.
So instead of being able to ask nicely for something I’m cornered and
have to say “no way” to another project.
Or someone demands me to do something when I’m overloaded and it’s all I
can do to run to the bathroom and cry before anyone sees me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When it comes to food especially, it seems silly that I
would need assistance. On one hand, with
general thinking, it seems like what I choose to put in my mouth and harnessing
self-control should be easy, because after all, I’m the only one eating for my
body. I’m the only one taking the action
and I’m the only person it affects.
Presto! Easy! I think this is why so many people don’t
seek help because the perception is that it should be simple. And when we struggle it triggers a “shame” button
(at least in me). Once that door is
opened, it can let in a flood of self-destructive behavior. Flog me! I’ve failed!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In reality, weight loss is one of the hardest fucking things
in the world to do. Why? Because to lose weight, I have to
fundamentally change my eating habits <u>for life</u>. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, if I’ve been saying “I can do this on my own” since I was at least 5 years old and need help for the first time, you bet your ass it’s going to be
hard to ask. I’ve been eating without
awareness or control nearly all my life (my Mom paid attention for me when I
was young, thanks Mom!) and now I have to pay attention AND force myself to
stop after 1400 calories every day? I
can feel my body tense up already and prepare for battle. “La resistance! Prepare to storm zee castle. Ve will not let zese reediculous new thoughts
block our joie de vivre – la food!”
People always say that no one likes change, but there’s a difference
between not liking it and acknowledging that you’re experiencing it. It’s easy to point a finger at someone else
and say “you’re acting like a monkey because you don’t like change.” But to point it at oneself and admit “I’m
acting foolish because I don’t want to change” is infinitely more difficult.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ultimately, like I’ve mentioned in previous entries, I have
to deal with loss. I’m losing my chance
to eat everything in sight. I’m losing
my rationalization. I’m losing the
justification to eat a loaf of bread.
I’m losing a pillar of support I thought I had when I get
overloaded. No more extra food. No more of what I thought was giving me
comfort.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s where the help comes in. How do you get it? Where do you go? What works best? There are a lot of answers to these
questions. When I did the Optifast diet
back in 2004, the best part of the program was the support group. In order to participate, it was mandatory to
go to a group therapy session once a week – then you got your shake mix at the
end. I learned things in those classes
that even stick with me today. They were
individual lessons that add up to the ability to change. The programs that seem to get the most long-lasting
kudos like Weight Watchers do this.
Also, with Overeaters Anonymous you can find support groups almost
anywhere every day and go sit in for an hour.
I think this is particularly helpful because you can find a sponsor who
will help you in your times of need.
Someone to call when you’re feeling weak. While I didn’t go to this program, my brother
recently lost a lot of weight and in the beginning I would call him instead of
reaching for keys to drive to fast food.
Just having him there to talk me off the food-ledge provided that extra
something I couldn’t do on my own.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where else? If you’re
not someone who likes to get support in person, there are online forums. MyFitnessPal has an online streaming section
that shows what your friends are doing and you can also go online and chat with
like-minded people. I’m sure a good
google-ing session would provide endless forums where you can find
health buddies. For me, writing through
my journey has been a fundamental thing that keeps me on track, and all my
readers who give me support are extremely helpful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you’re not into sharing your feelings with a group or
don’t like the online world, I would recommend one-on-one therapy. This method has always worked best for
me. Since I don’t like to ask for help
in the first place, oftentimes I let it go too long and then schedule an
appointment and say “I’m going crazy!”
and then she says “I can’t believe you’re dealing with the level of
stress you have, you’re not crazy.” And
then I leave more balanced. It’s easier
for me to hash out my feelings one-on-one on an uncomfortable subject with someone who has and objective eye <u>and</u> has my best
interest at heart. She’s the one who
helped me realize that stuffing myself for comfort was unusual as well as
finding out where the “I want it all” syndrome came from. Sometimes I just go in and cry my eyes out
for an hour and I know she will hear me.
It’s confidential, private and I would highly recommend it. Of course, it may take a few tries to find
the right person to listen, but they’re out there.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even though it sounds like a cliché, asking for help is
never easy. And you never realize how
hard it truly is until you have to ask for it.
I will jump hoops, go into denial, fall into an exhausted heap and put
up other huge walls before I break down and admit that I need help. I can do two jobs at once. I can lose 100 pounds on my own. I can be emotionally unaffected by
change. Plus plan a wedding at the same
time. This is about the time I’ve had
friends say “woman, are you insane? How are
you doing this?” Then I go to therapy
and learn how to get my balance back. It’s
something I have to work at every day and I'm not ashamed to admit it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-86870421738552581202013-02-16T09:05:00.000-08:002013-02-16T09:05:13.780-08:00Dealing With Big Events<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>603</o:Words>
<o:Characters>3439</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>28</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>8</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>4034</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cambria;">February 16, 2013</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria; min-height: 16px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria;">
44.2 pounds to go</div>
<div style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; min-height: 16px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria;">
I realize that throughout this blog I’ve whined frequently about how tough it is to avoid over-eating at family events. I point my finger at my family and cry “it’s <b><i>your</i></b> fault that you’re pushing 17 pounds of food in my face when I’m trying to be so good! Why are you doing this to me? Sob.” This isn’t fair to myself or to my family. Ultimately, they are not the ones chewing, swallowing and making the choices – that’s up to me.</div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria; min-height: 16px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria;">
I will admit that there is typically so much food at these events that it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Dishes of chocolate. Cookies. Bowls of chips. Alcohol. And of course, the main meal event. Then dessert. That is a hell of a lot of calories lying around and can be hard to resist. So what can I do?</div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria; min-height: 16px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria;">
First, I’ve found that party hosts fall into 3 general categories when it comes to food pushing:</div>
<ol>
<li style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0px;">They want to make sure everyone is fed so they put out a big spread. They tell you it’s available and offer.</li>
<li style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0px;">They want to make sure everyone is fed so they put out a big spread. They insist you try everything. They offer seconds, thirds and sevenths. Then they urge you take some of the leftovers home.</li>
<li style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0px;">WASP-y parties. Expect only tiny appetizers and a lot of white wine. I always leave these parties drunk and hungry.</li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Cambria;">
Whether any of these three situations are the standard normal or not, I can’t be sure – it’s just what I have experienced the most over the years. I find I’m the most comfortable when I’m not ordered to try the cake and made to feel guilty if I don’t. I like it when the food’s available and I can choose what I want (or don’t want) without feeling the judgment reigning down upon me. In some cases, I’m sure that the judgment is in my mind, but in others I’m not so sure.</div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria; min-height: 16px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria;">
Next, all the standard preparations for eating at a restaurant apply to a party. Try to exercise before to bank up a few extra calories. The promise to exercise after an event is futile – no one wants to go for a walk, drunk tired and stuffed. Eat more protein earlier in the day so you don’t feel the need to overindulge. Wait 10 minutes before you go for seconds. Log the damage in your calorie counter. And always, if all else fails, be quick to forgive and get back on the wagon the next day to avoid a backwards-slide. There’s no one magic bullet cure, just lots of little tips that add up to overall self-control.</div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria; min-height: 16px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria;">
I do have a secret weapon in my back pocket for these events: lying. For those party-throwers whose faces fall when you refuse the cake use these handy fibs:</div>
<ol>
<li style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0px;">I’m lactose intolerant</li>
<li style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0px;">I’m gluten sensitive</li>
<li style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0px;">I can’t eat a lot of grease</li>
<li style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0px;">I can’t eat x, y, z food, it upsets my stomach.</li>
</ol>
<div style="font-family: Cambria;">
For some reason, if you attach the excuse to a health problem, food pushers will generally back off because they don’t want to make you sick. However, if you say “I’m on a diet” or “I’m on a health kick” most often they will roll their eyes (mentally) and still follow you around with the ice cream cake until you take a bite.</div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria; min-height: 16px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria;">
For me, items 1 and 2 are true, so I don’t feel as bad about it. Not to go into detail, but if I had the ice cream and cake the first thing that would happen is a mad dash to the bathroom then a splitting headache. No thanks. They’re also convenient because I can easily say no to ice cream, cake, cookies and chips (the biggest calorie offenders) without offending anyone. Even if you don’t have the same affliction, now you know the results so please feel free to use them as an excuse!</div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria; min-height: 16px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Cambria;">
Like anything else with a lifestyle change, dealing with events becomes easier with practice. I’ve trained myself for so many years to get ready to dig in and eat everything in sight at parties because that’s what I felt was expected of me. Plus, I wanted to – there’s no hiding from that. The first party I went to when I started logging my food was torture. Then it got a little easier, and a little easier. Now, I still have my moments at parties but I don’t feel scared or anxious when I walk in the door. Now I know what to do.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>15</o:Words>
<o:Characters>90</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>1</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>104</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>29</o:Words>
<o:Characters>168</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>1</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>196</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment--><!--EndFragment-->
<!--EndFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-72927002275120747182013-02-02T11:19:00.000-08:002013-02-02T11:19:44.048-08:00Be a good picker
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>940</o:Words>
<o:Characters>5363</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>44</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>12</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>6291</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">February 2, 2013<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">46.4 pounds to go<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">“How are you doing
this??” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">This is a very common
question I have received over the past 260 days. Obviously, there are many factors that go
into eating healthy, and this chapter delves into the next step beyond figuring
out how many portions of what type of food to eat every day. (7 meat, 4 carbs, 3 cups of vegetables
etc.) How do I pick what to put in my
mouth? How does one become a good
picker?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I have 2 important tips:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">1) Find the foods that turn
you on. Everyone has their one thing
that makes food taste better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">2) Eat whole foods.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">So how does this break down?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3buBvbfQOHZB4iZjUdvzIRO8OrUGEdH5rQFWUqymSx1fJj83N45gDZjh28f1Z9eIXEEcp7aHuZ8Xq-zpF6Vqb02wAVruh7L5q11RX0x7Ns5cyRcKrYor7l-O5uFyjrBw5VJ9EsTnJLTk/s1600/IMG_1159.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3buBvbfQOHZB4iZjUdvzIRO8OrUGEdH5rQFWUqymSx1fJj83N45gDZjh28f1Z9eIXEEcp7aHuZ8Xq-zpF6Vqb02wAVruh7L5q11RX0x7Ns5cyRcKrYor7l-O5uFyjrBw5VJ9EsTnJLTk/s320/IMG_1159.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Word.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">With only 60 calories in 2
tablespoons, I put sour cream on almost all of my meals. It’s my secret weapon. As far as whole foods, this means try and eat
food closest to its original form.
Instead of a French fry eat a potato.
Eat lots of vegetables. Stay away
from overly-processed foods. Bake some
fish instead of eating fish sticks out of a box. It seems like a simple lesson but when I
first started doing this I never realized how much crap I was eating, mostly
because it was so easy. It’s easier to
drive through Jack-n-the-Box than pack a low calorie turkey sandwich. It’s easier to order fries than bake a
potato. I totally get this because I am
inherently lazy when it comes to cooking.
I played the part of domestic housewife and cooked 4 times a week for my
Mike when we first moved in together.
This ended after about 7 seconds and now I just make sure our house is
stocked with healthy and easy things to make.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Let me share my grocery
list: here are the things I buy every
week to keep my house stocked and the scale happy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: Arial;">Food Staples:<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">(Disclaimer: I shop at
Trader Joes a <b><i>lot</i></b>. Also a fan of
Sprouts and for some staples I go to Albertsons and Vons.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">1)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Coffee & Half & Half (Coffee 5 Calories, Half
& Half 35)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">2)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Trader Joes premade salads – the best are Citrus
Chicken, Lowfat Chinese Chicken Salad and Shrimp salad. (~250 calories with
dressing)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">3)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Trader Joes Black Bean Corn Enchiladas. (260 calories
a pack, can be mixed with anything)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">4)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">String Cheese (80 calories each)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">5)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Udi’s gluten free bread (70 calories a slice)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">6)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Laughing cow light wedges (35 calories each)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">7)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Light Mayo (35 calories a tablespoon)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">8)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Microwavable roasted potatoes (70 calories a serving)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">9)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Sour cream (30 calories a tablespoon)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">10)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Bananas (70 –
100 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">11)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Cherries (12
cherries – 50 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">12)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Soup (be
selective – best ones 200-300 calories a can)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">13)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Microwavable
veggies – broccoli, peas, corn, bell peppers, asparagus (20-50 calories a
serving)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">14)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Deli sliced
roast beef (80 calories 2 ounces)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">15)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Deli sliced
turkey breast (60 calories 2 ounces)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">16)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Turkey
pepperoni (80 calories for 15 slices) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">17)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Fat free
refried beans (1/4 cup 120 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">18)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Some
microwavable meals – Marie Callendars has some that are ok. Be selective. (300-500 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">19)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Veggie Burgers
– Dr. Praeger’s California ones are the best. (110 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">20)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Eggs (70
calories each)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">21)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Salmon (best
grilled in the toaster oven. 5 ounces –
165 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">22)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Sweet potatoes
(3/4 cup 100 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">23)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Corn tortillas
(2 small tortillas 130 caloreis)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">24)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> California
rolls (Trader joes has a tray which is only 200 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">25)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Chicken breast
(6 ounces 133 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">26)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Quinoa (1 cup
250 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">27)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Gluten free
pasta (1/2 cup dry 190 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">28)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Better’n’peanut butter (1 tablespoon 50
calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">29)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;"> Greek yogurt
(1 serving 140 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 31.5pt; mso-add-space: auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Snacks:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">1)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">100 calorie cookie packs<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">2)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">100 Calorie popcorn packs<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">3)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Trader Joes Espresso Pillows (70 calories for 22)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">4)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Trader Joes dark chocolate caramel wedges (60
calories for 2) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">5)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Veggie chips (26 chips 160 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">6)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Pop chips (1 snack bag 100 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">7)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Baked chips (1 snack bag 140 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">8)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Greek yogurt dip (2 tablespoons 35 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">9)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Kettle corn (2 cups 130 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: Arial;">Occasional Treats: <o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">(Eat in small servings when
I’m out with people, or when I’m having a monster craving I can’t overcome)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">1)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">French fries (small serving, most fast food 300
calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">2)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mashed potatoes (237 calories a cup)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">3)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Cake (250 – 500 calories a slice depending on the
cake)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">4)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Pad Thai (1 cup 300 calories) + fresh spring rolls
(110 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">5)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Cheesy poofs / Cheetos (33 crunchies 130 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">6)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Goldfish crackers (55 fishies 140 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">7)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Hummus (2 tablespoons 50 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">8)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Mochi ice cream (1 pod 100 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">9)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Rice (1 cup 240 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">10)
Peanut butter (2 tablespoons 190 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">11)
Nutella (2 tablespoons 200 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><u><span style="font-family: Arial;">Things I almost never eat:<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">(less than once a month)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">1)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Hamburgers / fast food (500+ calories a burger)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">2)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Chinese food (Fried rice alone 350 calories a cup)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">3)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Hot dog (300 calories +)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">4)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Pizza (150 calories + a slice. Most over 200 a slice)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">5)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Ribs / anything slathered in BBQ sauce (2 ribs 350
calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">6)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Nuts in any form (1 ounce 125 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">7)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Ice cream (1 cup 300 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">8)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Cookies (a big cookie alone can be 200 calories)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">9)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Cupcake (250 calories +)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">10) Muffins (120 for a small one, 350+
for ones at bakeries)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">11) Cereal (120 calories + a cup)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: .25in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">12) Milk (120 calories + a cup)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">How my staples turn into
real food:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">It’s really a mix-and-match
game. As long as your staples are around
70-120 calories a serving you can come with all sorts of creative ways to
combine them to come up with satisfying meals under 500 calories. Here are a few:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">1)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Breakfast for dinner – 2 eggs, 2 slices of toast, 1
serving of potatoes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">2)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Burrito guts – 2 egg, 2 servings of potatoes, 1
serving of fat free refried beans, sour cream & salsa<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">3)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Gluten free pasta, veggies & sour cream (sour
cream = fake cream sauce)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">4)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Salmon & veggies<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">5)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Steak & veggies<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">6)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Chicken & veggies<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">7)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Soft tacos<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">8)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Quinoa & veggies<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 37.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -19.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;">9)<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial;">Fat free refried beans microwaved with string cheese
= delicious cheesy beans<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">10)
Any veggies slathered in light laughing cow cheese wedges<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">11)
Soup with melted cheese<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">12)
Sandwich & veggie chips<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">13)
Healthy PB&J – gluten free bread, better n’ peanut butter and crushed
fruit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Need some kick? Add pepper, hot sauce, salsa or flavored
vinegars. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I find myself reverting to
nostalgia foods that keep me satisfied – things I would eat as a kid. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, popcorn
etc. Everyone has different things that
make them feel satisfied – my biggest staple is some version of burrito
guts. I’ve mastered 72 different
versions, and it’s on the menu almost every day. Happy picking!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-64676148000222631272013-01-27T14:43:00.002-08:002013-01-27T14:43:56.491-08:00Morbid Fear of Gaining the Weight Back
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>1005</o:Words>
<o:Characters>5731</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>47</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>13</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>6723</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>1005</o:Words>
<o:Characters>5732</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>47</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>13</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>6724</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>1006</o:Words>
<o:Characters>5739</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Bonnie Horvitz</o:Company>
<o:Lines>47</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>13</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>6732</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>14.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:View>Normal</w:View>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves/>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:DoNotPromoteQF/>
<w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther>
<w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian>
<w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:SnapToGridInCell/>
<w:WrapTextWithPunct/>
<w:UseAsianBreakRules/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/>
<w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/>
<w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/>
<w:OverrideTableStyleHps/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
<m:mathPr>
<m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/>
<m:brkBin m:val="before"/>
<m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/>
<m:smallFrac m:val="off"/>
<m:dispDef/>
<m:lMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:rMargin m:val="0"/>
<m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/>
<m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/>
<m:intLim m:val="subSup"/>
<m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/>
</m:mathPr></w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
DefSemiHidden="true" DefQFormat="false" DefPriority="99"
LatentStyleCount="276">
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="0" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Normal"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="heading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="9" QFormat="true" Name="heading 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="toc 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" QFormat="true" Name="caption"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="59" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" SemiHidden="false"
UnhideWhenUsed="false" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">January 27, 2013</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">46.4 pounds to go<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Ritual (n): A religious or solemn ceremony
consisting of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">In my college philosophy
101 class back in 1998, my professor told a ritual experiment story performed on birds. The birds were
placed in their cages with a food dispensary.
The experimenters released the food at random times to see what
behaviors the birds would develop. These
poor creatures would be in the middle of
dancing, bathing, or jumping around the cage and by coincidence (a.k.a. random
timing) the food would appear. Then the
bird would be hungry later and reenact previous coincidental behavior forming a “food
dance.” By the end of it, these guys
were performing long complicated rituals which they believed would produce food.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAX1M2KA_r_90N1Vhud5qxHo02H6tFT5EzVEj6UxxrMIrSWDotvZVEgnBcZUzjI5oJJsb6Q_vM749jpdJxh9ypl38LQk68o3OmX5PH1mj9A4GbNoyH2rdAc5wb0IW5VLzAAyx-m1lBUZ8/s1600/IMG_1143.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAX1M2KA_r_90N1Vhud5qxHo02H6tFT5EzVEj6UxxrMIrSWDotvZVEgnBcZUzjI5oJJsb6Q_vM749jpdJxh9ypl38LQk68o3OmX5PH1mj9A4GbNoyH2rdAc5wb0IW5VLzAAyx-m1lBUZ8/s320/IMG_1143.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Where's my fucking snack?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">While I may not be a
dancing bird (today) there is a difference between behaviors that get results
versus ingrained behaviors that don’t effect change. Through my many journeys with weight loss,
I’ve developed my own rain dances hoping they would facilitate the solution. Put in simpler terms: whenever I would start
to cross over into healthy or skinny territory I would begin to feel morbidly
afraid the weight would come back on. I
would write pages and pages in my diary about the fear, yet never take any
action to diffuse it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">So why was I
afraid? Why would I be afraid now? One word: ignorance. In the past I was never given any tools for
sustainable weight loss. I was given a
crash program that would get me to skinny but never taught me long term healthy
behaviors. Atkins. Crash diet.
Optifast. Crash diet. P90X.
Crash diet. These kinds of
programs get fast results (typically much faster than you should expect) by
taking my body to the extreme. I would
get results, but when I was at the finish line I would have no tools to stay
there. All I knew how to do was the
extreme version of very little eating and globulous amounts of exercise. And as we all know, starving yourself while
working out to the extreme every day is not sustainable. You can do it for a few months but not
forever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">All these programs always promise to shift you into a ‘maintenance mode’ once you start getting
close to your ideal weight. The problem
is, it’s so extreme that most of us never get to this point. I know I always gave up before these crucial
classes. So again, I’d be at the finish
line with no tools. Hello old habits and weight gain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Now I’m in a different
place. I have the tools. I know how many calories I get to eat in a
day (1400). I know how many I get to eat
at a maintenance level (1400). I know what
foods to choose because technically I’m not on a diet right now, (Details in
other entries) I’m eating the way I will eat for the rest of my life. I pick the right foods that make me feel full
(Bye bye gluten, I miss you). I have a
sustainable amount of exercise in my life (Twice a week).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKPfoFAjMG5ghMk9QHLocoxSlj9o5Gg-bZXLkgcU19Oxqt3bc1YOwdYc7Rpp8spEpJ5n4_SxQcsSVKJNqxvTGaCcb6ozV64VNOULvS1F6iaCCgMO2MuM6u-V2TIk2fPDWf4EDcZrSNF0Q/s1600/why+did+you+change+the+locks.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="335" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKPfoFAjMG5ghMk9QHLocoxSlj9o5Gg-bZXLkgcU19Oxqt3bc1YOwdYc7Rpp8spEpJ5n4_SxQcsSVKJNqxvTGaCcb6ozV64VNOULvS1F6iaCCgMO2MuM6u-V2TIk2fPDWf4EDcZrSNF0Q/s400/why+did+you+change+the+locks.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">You know what you did. Get a job.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">So the fear was the fear
of the unknown. Since I wasn’t doing any
sort of food tracking, so it’s no wonder the scale was always a big surprise. You bet your ass I was sending desperate
prayers and doing my own rain dances in the bathroom before I got on the scale. Then there would be a lazy week with exercise and too afraid to get on the scale. Then another week. Then the extra food started to slip in. Six months later I finally would be brave
enough to face the scale and it was always bad news. Even though I knew I was slipping, it always
seemed so unfair that the weight came back on.
Lather, rinse and repeat this cycle a dozen times over the past 13 years
and you bet your ass the fear starts creeping in once the weight really starts
coming off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Always, I would be brave enough
to go on a crash diet, but not patient enough to take on the work of tracking what’s
going into my mouth every.single.day. It
seemed like it was too much work, and it was a mountain I wasn’t ready to
face. Instead I depended on ritual and
hope which never takes anyone very far.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Beyond this, there’s also a weird
self-negotiation that happens when I crossed over from ignorance to reality
with weight loss. And I’m not talking
about the “I’ll promise to exercise tomorrow and I’ll eat the cheesecake
tonight” kind of rationalization. It’s not
even the long-term “I’ve been working so hard so I deserve it” line of thinking
that always creeps in around the self-sabotage point in a diet. Granted, I still bargain line-item foods
with myself every day. I’m going to eat
this chocolate. I’m going to have an
extra string cheese. Then I go for a
walk. There’s no room for negotiation
with a calorie. Hard numbers. Hard facts.
Not a whole lot of wiggle room.
In other words, I can’t strike a deal with the science of my body. I can’t talk my way out of it. I can’t even think my way out of it. Yet, I still behave like I can
sometimes. That’s where the
self-negotiation comes in. I think I can
bring something new to the table, and constantly my body comes back with the
terms which haven’t changed. So I resign
the contract. Again, and again and again.
I’ve gone back to the mediation table several times in this journey and
every time my body wins.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3FV6bnlkVfybkL3eppI-bQ6LMs4cjXTVVTeCV3cbeYbf78YNiPdndIV7Ad6X6RW41MaHRMrKw0O3WdpQg1uvm6_DsQZIlx88AYObhPmrViNiYENzWAleaDOSQKbJNZICsKsxoeGC8jb4/s1600/IMG_1145.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="294" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3FV6bnlkVfybkL3eppI-bQ6LMs4cjXTVVTeCV3cbeYbf78YNiPdndIV7Ad6X6RW41MaHRMrKw0O3WdpQg1uvm6_DsQZIlx88AYObhPmrViNiYENzWAleaDOSQKbJNZICsKsxoeGC8jb4/s320/IMG_1145.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Take it or leave it. Goddamnit. I'll take it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">Here’s another way to
think about it: I have had employees in
the past who think much more highly of themselves versus what they actually
produce. They constantly ask for a
raise. They constantly ask for a
promotion. Yet they constantly don’t do
any work to show they deserve any of the bumps!
You have to stop <b><i>talking </i></b>about how awesome you are
and <b><i>do</i></b>
something awesome. If I expect my body
to start dropping pounds more rapidly yet I haven’t changed any of my
behaviors, what the fuck did I think was going to happen? And to even further the point, if I get to
the finish line and start incorporating behaviors that would make me gain
weight, why should I expect any different even though I don’t <b><i>want</i></b>
to gain it back?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica;">I think the wanting /
thinking versus awareness / doing crosses that fear bridge. Even though it is still a pain in the ass and
a lot of work, I have the tools. I don’t
have to do a rain dance in the bathroom every Saturday because I know what I’m
doing. Sometimes, irrationality still
overcomes me and I have flights of “ohmigod what happens if I get fat
again?” But it’s a swell of emotion and
sometimes I just have to wait out the storm.
Now it always passes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<!--EndFragment-->Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-77535873627090314412013-01-19T11:17:00.001-08:002013-01-19T11:37:24.987-08:00Tackling Restaurants<br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
January 19, 2013</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
47 pounds to go</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Disclaimer #1: I eat out <b><i>a lot</i></b>. This works.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Disclaimer #2: Two instructional blogs in a row, I know. It can get a little tedious. Do eat vegetables. Don't eat pie. Do move your ass. Don't get hung up about it. Do dance like a chicken. Don't eat the beak. To make this fun I'm going to play "where's the yeti." He's hidden somewhere in this blog. If you pay attention long enough you'll be able to spot him among the details.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Restaurants can seem tough at first glance. Their objective is to have you leave fat and happy, not healthy and spry. They focus on your experience -- which includes lots of food. This is why they push the bread, extra drinks, appetizers and oh, by the way "do you have room for dessert?" And you hrmm for a second and say "Yeeahh, bring me the pie." 2600 calories, one enormous dump and a beaching session later I force Mike to push me up the stairs because there's no way I'm going to make it on my own. </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCm8oYmKPhEWG7wOxmM1S_H1dloTnEMifIT5m5EEOOnDhOPUPbhCPwx4TejDC-8cD30_2rsWfHhslAB-TkWUhzL1yBV8v4R34wOAXwjyyFvGW308xCSVrgK_VmWMpiX3EFDZM1J9uGc0o/s1600/can+you+bring+me+a+carrot%253F.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCm8oYmKPhEWG7wOxmM1S_H1dloTnEMifIT5m5EEOOnDhOPUPbhCPwx4TejDC-8cD30_2rsWfHhslAB-TkWUhzL1yBV8v4R34wOAXwjyyFvGW308xCSVrgK_VmWMpiX3EFDZM1J9uGc0o/s320/can+you+bring+me+a+carrot%253F.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Do the calories count if I just lick the food?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
There are a few leg-work details that are helpful with restaurants. First, with the Affordable Care Act, any restaurant chain that has more than 20 locations is required to list their calorie counts. Another interesting detail with the '20 locations or more status': the calories have to be listed next to the standard menu item. I have noticed at some chains such as Claim Jumpers and Bucca Di Beppo (huge calorie offenders) they keep a separate nutritional menu on the table, and it's not listed on the menu. Legal? I think not. But they're getting away with it for now and at least we have easy access to the information. Also, when looking at the calorie listings often there will be a range of "600-850*" calories next to a combo meal at a fast food place. Then you look at the asterisk and it will say "does not include x,y,z." I am shocked at what some restaurants get away with using this technicality. I was at Ruby's Diner the other day and next to the hamburger meal it said "650 - 850*" I asked if the upwards 850 included the fries. The waitress didn't know. I risked the meal and looked it up later and the nutritional menu said (I shit you not) "Hamburger listing does not include MEAT." How can you not include the fucking hamburger in the hamburger???" So bread and sauce is 650 calories? Oh wait. I see, it's only 900 calories if I eat it. Another one of my favorite technicality listings was at Boudin bread bakery. I looked up the chicken caesar salad - their asterisk said "does not include meat or dressing." So, this 262 calories consists of croutons, cheese and lettuce? The takeaway from this is pay attention. You may have to add some extra calories for what should be on the original listing.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
If the restaurant chain has less than 20 locations, you're on your own with nutritional listings. They're not required to tell you anything. Some of them do, some of them don't so it doesn't hurt to ask. I'm hoping as health care law progresses everyone will have to list everything. The key is awareness. I don't care if someone wants to eat a 3500 calorie meal, but they should at least have the chance to know what they're putting in their face. So what do you do? The great thing with MyFitnessPal is that it does have a lot of general calorie listings. So if you go to a Japanese restaurant you can look up "rainbow roll" and know it has 476 calories. Yeti. If I'm at an italian restaurant I can look up "feta stuffed chicken" and get an estimate. It's not perfect, but it will help you make good decisions. As with anything, with practice you'll start to get to know the default caloric properties of food so you'll get better at estimating. 2/3 of a dry cup of pasta is 210 calories. A chicken breast is 133 calories. An egg is 70 calories. You'll do a lot of deferring to MyFitnessPal in the beginning but you get my drift.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
The last item with prep work for a restaurant -- try to look up the menu online before you go. That way you can pour over your choices and pick the best option without looking like Mrs. Indecision at the restaurant. You'll know about the asterisks and be prepared with the questions you can't find the answers to.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
When I first get my menu at the restaurant, oftentimes I'll warn the waiter that "I'm a modifier" that way they don't get annoyed when I ask for dressing on the side or how many ounces are in the bowl versus cup of soup. Some servers know their menu, others don't. Don't get mad if they give you a deer in the headlights look when you ask weird questions. It also doesn't hurt to ask if they have a hidden 'healthy options' menu. I've been surprised at how many restaurants have a 'secret' menu that has meals for 650 calories or less. Some of my typical modifier remarks are "dressing on the side," "no croutons," and "make it without butter" (this applies to pasta dishes mostly). I also will ask for a side of what I'm craving or something healthy that's not on the menu. Like a side of steamed broccoli, black beans or fruit. I have ordered a side of bananas before. The waitress thought I was weird, but she'll live. And I wanted the banana.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Now comes the toughest part of eating out: the actual eating. Some restaurants there are just no good choices. Everything is high. And everything looks amazing. In these cases, I'll order what I want and just eat half of what's served. In the beginning this was very hard for me. Especially knowing that I want it all, all the time. When the food arrives, I'll draw a line in the middle, or cut it in half so I know when I have to stop. I cut my food up into tiny pieces so it lasts longer. I've heard of some women who ask the server to serve them half the meal and put the other half in a to-go box. I haven't had the nerve to try this, but I would imagine that it's helpful if you don't have the willpower to stop. Once I get down to the "I'm done eating" stage but that half meal is still there, I have to take extreme measures. I move the plate to the edge of the table. I throw my napkin over it. I ask the waiter to take it away. I start offering it to other people at the table. Like with everything else, it gets easier with practice. </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
As a final note, I'll have a later chapter that goes into very specific detail on what restaurants I frequent and what I typically order. As a sneak preview, the restaurants where I've found the best choices I've found are: Rubios, Subway, Mimi's Cafe, Jersey Mikes, Boudin Bakery, El Pollo Loco, Chipotle, Panera, Jimbo's, and Corner Bakery. This does not mean everything on their menus are healthy, it just means they have more healthy options than most. Bon Appetit!</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRtpPsj_doMH0KGPlxIlTDiRvujVVmiPxcT-ZbSwU3shS4-q3nZPqi_vzAQQWfnMY7AXOrT0rFVIbVQYxm23EmoWDFU6CAblUQSEeawr9ILEDXZHMJlrjxRjFEX0In5Ok0l_Sruzu8NBA/s1600/yeti.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRtpPsj_doMH0KGPlxIlTDiRvujVVmiPxcT-ZbSwU3shS4-q3nZPqi_vzAQQWfnMY7AXOrT0rFVIbVQYxm23EmoWDFU6CAblUQSEeawr9ILEDXZHMJlrjxRjFEX0In5Ok0l_Sruzu8NBA/s200/yeti.JPG" width="137" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Did you find George the Yeti?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-8324178152025435002013-01-12T12:08:00.000-08:002013-01-12T12:08:04.030-08:00Going on Vacation<br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
47.8 pounds to go</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqTXGDZ8viJx0X8rPqOSMPI7R61Q1JQDD0zAS5E6MMno7uu5mpid2cRqq3ifHD-GsgNI1a0_Mz5puh1k40hLiO5RL-osv_2eYnnFFDjsXHg6ZSFH0eRO4TsBr85UlRe66uHEtJge62mhY/s1600/32+days+til+vacation.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqTXGDZ8viJx0X8rPqOSMPI7R61Q1JQDD0zAS5E6MMno7uu5mpid2cRqq3ifHD-GsgNI1a0_Mz5puh1k40hLiO5RL-osv_2eYnnFFDjsXHg6ZSFH0eRO4TsBr85UlRe66uHEtJge62mhY/s320/32+days+til+vacation.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Maybe two of everything.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Going on vacation is a wonderful thing - I love to travel so I start my countdowns to vacation days far, far in advance. In the past I would get even more excited because this was the time that I could eat everything in sight without guilt! Meals out all the time! The food! The fun! Back then I wasn't doing any sort of tracking with my food intake or my weight, so who gives a shit anyway? I got to extra-indulge in something that gave me great pleasure.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
The last time I went on vacation in August, I was a little more nervous. How was I going to make it through all those restaurants? Resist dessert? The extra drinks? Around every corner there seemed to be another gourmet hamburger that I had to put in my face. Stat. Plus all the "free" drinks while playing penny slots and poker? Nervous rose to a new level: "oh shit, I am going to <b><i>gain</i></b> weight."</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Now that I have more healthy days under my belt (239 days as of today) I've had about 5 more months of practice since Vegas to pick better foods that make me feel full. I didn't feel nervous on the days before we departed for Sedona two weeks ago (hence the mini break from my blog), I felt even more excited than usual -- the fear was gone. I had a plan. Now, let me share my plan with you to take the food stigma off vacation days.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Here's it is at a glance:</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
1) First thing's first. Don't stop counting calories. Myfitnesspal will travel! Knowledge is power.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
2) Try and keep your regular eating schedule going. Eat when you normally eat. Eat the caloric chunks you normally eat.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
2) Stock up on breakfast. </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
3) Buy healthy snacks to keep in the car / at the hotel. </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
4) Research the restaurants in the area before you depart. Remember that it is not mandatory to eat out every meal.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
5) Plan adventures.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Now let's break it down.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Calories.</b></span> </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
(Groan. Just get it out there now. Someday you'll get over it.) I don't have stigma attached to calorie-counting anymore, it's just part of my daily routine. I have previous blogs that go into more detail on how to use the MyFitnessPal app, so I won't do it now. It is vitally important to keep tracking, and keep tracking <b><i>honestly</i></b>. It is very easy to have a gorge day and say "well, I ate the cheesecake, but I'm not gonna tell anyone about it so technically, it's not on the record. No one will ever know… except the scale. Better to fess up and put it in there, because the only person you can hurt is yourself by keeping secrets. Plus, you'll probably forget about the cheesecake and say "wow, I still have 500 calories left, what else can I eat? Mmm, strawberry lemonade champagne cocktail. Two please." I've recently discovered there is a function in MyFitnessPal that says "quick add calories" which is dangerous. It's like shopping for hotels on hot-wire. I'm pretty sure this 2 star hotel I'm getting for $15 a night won't have murderers lurking in the parking lot. Then you arrive and it's not murders, but an army of angry teenagers popping wheelies right next to your window. Or you're next to a bomb-testing site. Or you're 50 miles away from the area you thought you would be staying in. You get my drift, you get what you pay for. If you quick add 1500 calories and label it "unnaturally large monkey-pig-out session" it was probably more like 2500 calories. It's better to line-item your food. Think of it as confessional, once you get it off your chest, you can look at the real damage and asses how good / bad it was. Most of the time it's not as bad as you think, and as an added bonus you don't have to keep feeling endlessly guilty for something you won't admit the whole truth about.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Stick with your schedule.</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
I am a die-hard advocate for being a creature of habit with food. You could set a clock to when I eat during the work week. In the morning I get up and have a cup of coffee on my patio. Then on my drive to work I eat a banana and sting cheese. I have another cup of coffee at work. I walk to lunch between 11:30AM - 12:30 PM and keep Rubio's in business. (Lots of good salad choices. 90 calories burned with walking) Then I get home and have 600-750 calories left for a decent dinner. On the weekends it's a little different. I sleep in. I have two cups of coffee on my patio. I have breakfast late and eat something more substantial, like eggs in a basket and potatoes (495 calories). Then I exercise and have a bigger meal for dinner followed by snacking (hello Trader Joes espresso pillows and carmel wedges) because I have a substantial bank left. When I go on vacation, I'm on the weekend schedule everyday.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Breakfast</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Any nutritionist will tell you "never skip breakfast!" And I concur. If you don't eat it, your'e going to be starving later and set yourself up for a gorge-sabotage at lunch. Whenever I go on vacation, my first stop is at the grocery store and I stock up on what I normally eat for breakfast. Plus real coffee because hotel coffee tastes like an elbow. As Mike would say, "well, it's hot. That's all it has going." It's also convenient for when we're sleeping in and lazy to have something to nibble on in the morning, that way I'm don't become a raging tiger that roars "take me to lunch, I'm ready to eat your arm!" I can truly enjoy the lazy mornings on the patio.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Healthy snacks.</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
At that first trip to the grocery store, buy the snacks you normally indulge in. Since I'm gluten free I have to get creative. I like veggie stix, veggie chips, kettle corn and cheesy poofs. Also chocolate -- you have to be selective and find the low calorie portioned ones instead of a wonking 5 pound hershey bar. My favorite choices are trader joe's espresso pillows, carmel wedges and powerberries. They come in small portions so I can eat a few and be satisfied while only spending 60-100 calories. This time around I didn't realize how much chocolate I eat during the week because by day 3 I was super-craving it and took a desperate trip to the vending machine in the ice-room. I got a hershey chocolate bar that was probably aged 16 years. Not good. The other thing I like to buy at the store are "emergency protein bars." I keep them in the car or my purse for when we've been roaming around all day, and maybe it hasn't been a good stick-to-the-schedule day. That way I can bust open the wrapper in case of emergency. Discovered Odwalla's chocolate peanut butter ones. Divine. Had to eat it mid-hike when the travel guide lied and said "5 miles round trip" when really it was 5 miles each way. As a side note, I typically stay away from calorie-packed snacks like full fat potato chips, crackers and any sort of dip. Even the healthy ones like hummus because once I start it's hard to stop and 1500 calories later I feel beyond guilty. I also enjoy a bubbly and flavorful beverages. I could write an embarrassing love letter to the makers of Fresca.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg909fdi-SpTU2C3EFz3uXPVt_rk2_QXuCY1ZIIltvTL0sUrSI828Q5tH_uwA8x2dXl-Zl70lpM_Lrt0F2dYBST6YmVLSJ51nTJiDphCInL_UJeUWczsAWWC-i5pVc2AeW3q_55iLCLsU0/s1600/Mcseventybillion+sandwich.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg909fdi-SpTU2C3EFz3uXPVt_rk2_QXuCY1ZIIltvTL0sUrSI828Q5tH_uwA8x2dXl-Zl70lpM_Lrt0F2dYBST6YmVLSJ51nTJiDphCInL_UJeUWczsAWWC-i5pVc2AeW3q_55iLCLsU0/s320/Mcseventybillion+sandwich.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">It's named for its awesome caloric properties.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Research Restaurants</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
This is something I did for the first time this last vacation Typically I get there and just hope for the best. This time around I took a look in the guidebooks and it was full of restaurants labeled "bistro!" and "fresh!" Even a pizzeria that served gluten free which I got totally excited about. I figured it would be easier than usual to find choices that adhered to my calorie count. It's always good to check in advance - when we went to Zion for the first time a few winters ago the choices were staggeringly limited. Half the restaurants were "closed for winter" the other half were greasy spoons and sports bars, so I ate my fair share of monster hamburgers (delicious, I'll admit) and dripping hash browns. If your destination is podunk USA, you may need to shop in your hometown and bring a cooler filled with healthier options. Once you get there and have to pick the items off the menu remember the standard tips: make sure there's vegetables in your meal. If you get a salad, get the dressing on the side so you can control the calories. If it's a major splurge just eat half of what's on your plate. Once you're done eating half put your napkin on it. Force the waiter to take it away. A chunk of meat plus a side of vegetables is surprisingly low-calorie, so you can go to a fancy restaurant and get the steak dinner sans guilt. However, if you eat a starter salad, 20 ounce steak, bread, dessert and two glasses of wine with it there will be trouble.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Brunch is also easier to pick healthier choices. Omelets are good. Ask how many eggs are in it so you can get an accurate count. I love eggs over-easy with potatoes which I eat all the time, and could get at restaurants easily. Then there's eggs benedict which isn't so hot, but I had a few times. (I just didn't eat the muffin and only half the potatoes) Hollandaise sauce should be illegal. I think I'll bathe in it. </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
The other thing with restaurants - not every trip will be well behaved. I've over-indulged and that's ok. Back to article A, just fess up so you won't be surprised later. On our road trip out there, I had Jack-n-the-Box for the first time in a year. When I started gaining weight again about 8 years ago he was one of the major culprits to my demise. I couldn't get enough of the french fries dipped in the ranch sauce. And you can bet it tasted just as good as I remembered it. It felt like I was eating crack. The minute I finished I had the urge to order 3 more sides of fries or just drink the sauce. Get me away! The next day I was rewarded with the inability to shit, apologized to my body and promised to eat a vegetable. That night I had the most amazing spinach salad with roasted salmon with chipotle ranch dressing and it tasted SO much better than the fast food. Plus it didn't trigger the dangerous "keep eating or else" button.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Plan Adventures</b></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
This is a guise for exercise. Tricked you! (you bitch.) I'm not an over-scheduler before I go on vacation. Some people have long, complicated itineraries when they get away which takes away from the real purpose of vacation: relaxation. I typically like to go places where there are lots of hiking options or activities. I'm also known for over-spending on guide books. That way each morning I can drink my coffee, peruse the guidebook and say "look Mike, Bell Rock is supposed to be a vortex. Let's go there and get woo-woo'ed." Then we go. Each day is an adventure and I can do whatever I want. Even if I'm walking around leisurely for an hour or two, I'm banking up 200-400 calories I can use later. (Hello champagne cocktail.) Then if it's serious, we're talking about a 1200-1700 calorie bank range. The great thing about huge adventures is that you get to see something you'd never typically get to see, and then later you can have that one massive gorge session (if you want) completely guilt-free. After the trip to bell-rock which turned out to be an 8 mile hike plus spelunking, we ordered a pizza to go and pear gorgonzola salad with raspberry dressing from the gluten-free pizzeria. Then we picked up our favorite Kona beer (Pipeline porter. Coffee + beer. Amazing) turned on The Dark Knight Rises and dug in. Fucking delicious feast. Plus, who doesn't like to yell at the TV while eating cheesy pizza?</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
As you can see, I still have a love affair going with food. I think the big change is that I pick the things that I like and just really enjoy what I get to have instead of worrying about the massive quantities I can squish in my face. Feasts taste better when I've earned them, and in the end I don't feel deprived because I choose the full fat dressing - I just use half of it instead of eating a salad that tastes like it's been wrapped in plastic sauce. When I'm on vacation I'm still making an effort to care about my food choices and it gets easier with practice. This vacation was beautiful, plus I lost two pounds which made it a stunning victory in my eyes. And I got the best birthday present ever - the man I love asked me to marry him. Life is good.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-35020695562197856772012-12-30T12:01:00.003-08:002012-12-30T12:01:44.573-08:00The Size 12 Myth<br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
December 30, 2012</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
50 pounds to go</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Ah, Maryilyn Monroe. The icon. The curves. The sexiness. The idol us "real women" put on a pedestal and say "if I were a size 12, my body would look exactly like her. She was a real woman with real curves." Early on in this adventure, I said the same thing to myself. And I wondered, when I get to a size 12, will my sizing be the same? Let's take a look:</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP1yJ7qUj8AzXbFdrmWdAX7c6lsuOQMozgAlTVv75NiYeLvSC8AbU5UtAgLstwMa5DHoZT1d0eV3y4WkyQyl1V0jRi2q-DE_u4lMy225bLCYIE7dhicOHfbX7cJEHfurF69cuvOA-J_pA/s1600/bonnie+vs+Marilyn+front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP1yJ7qUj8AzXbFdrmWdAX7c6lsuOQMozgAlTVv75NiYeLvSC8AbU5UtAgLstwMa5DHoZT1d0eV3y4WkyQyl1V0jRi2q-DE_u4lMy225bLCYIE7dhicOHfbX7cJEHfurF69cuvOA-J_pA/s320/bonnie+vs+Marilyn+front.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Thank you Mike for being my photographer.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
It took 50 pounds of weight loss to get to a size 12. And right now I am a solid 12. What does this mean? I affectionately referred to myself as a "fat 16" when I started this journey. This means that I could squeeze into a 16 but it was uncomfortable. Then I became a solid 16. Then a skinny 16. Then I moved on to a fat 14 and so on. This also means when I go to the store I can pick up any size 12 and get into it, whereas when I'm a "fat 12" in some stores there's no hope for me. </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
So what is the industry standard for a size 12? Well, there is none. You may widen your eyes and say "how can that be?" Because no one made a rule that said "A size 12 shall be a bust of 38, waist of 31 and hips of 42. And so it was known." I even took a look online at the stores I frequent and each one had a different measurement for a size 12:<br />
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="border-collapse: collapse; text-align: center;">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Store</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Bust </div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Waist</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Hips</div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
J Pederman</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
38.5</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
31</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
41</div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Ann Taylor</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
38.5</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
31</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
41</div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Pin Up girl</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
40</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
31</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
41</div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
New York and Company</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
39.5</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
31.5</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
42</div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Dress Barn</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
39.5</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
31.5</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
42</div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Old Navy</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
38.5</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
30.5</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
41.5</div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Jones New York </div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
39</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
32</div>
</td>
<td style="border-color: #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb #cbcbcb; border-style: solid; border-width: 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px 1.0px; padding: 0.0px 5.0px 0.0px 5.0px;" valign="middle"><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
41.5</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
An inch or two of fluctuation may not seem like a lot, but I've noticed with myself it takes about 10 pounds of weight loss to lose an inch in my waist. That means whatever store I go to, I can be 20 pounds heavier in some cases and still get into the outfit.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Here is something that is even more mind boggling to me: I'm 5'4 and my measurements are 41-33-43 yet I can comfortably get into size 12's (no laying down or acrobatics to button the pants.) but clearly I should be too fat according to the size charts. What is going on here? Are the charts lying? Is it the friendly "stretch" fabric? Is it the "relaxed" waistband? Is it the gaucho-cut legs? As a company if I say the waist is a 31 but make it 30% spandex you bet that bitch is going to be able to stretch an extra couple of inches. Meaning there is a 10 - 30 pound spread where women can still get in even though they shouldn't be able to. Each company sets their own standard, and many are prone to this "vanity sizing." Slap on a "12" label on and us 14's and 16's can feel better about ourselves by squeezing our wobbly legs into them. I may not be able to breathe but I don't care. I'm in the pants. Company sells more pants, we get a self-esteem boost. It's a win-win. (Except for the fundamental lie but who cares about that?)</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Let's take another look at Marilyn. She was still one sexy hot mama. No one seems to know what size she was. Take into account all the modern fluctuation in size 12s, then realize (could not find a documented standard) that a size 12 was probably <b><i>smaller</i></b> back in the 50's and 60's. Plus, I would imagine they weren't meshing everything with spandex meaning that a size 12 would have been much less forgiving than it is today. Look around on the internet and she was a size 8! No, a 12! Some even claim a 14. If she was a size 14 then I'm a banana. Let's take a look at the side-by-side from some different angles:</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDpPzerrg_7lDZVSdYRopqPtkHpgsFvJ8Mq1WIJINoJfm9cV8j5Fa92d7YhWMxejhV4VUl4i_GKfzWOOWoIO9zSSZuGBOstleSg68DVVvlv0v3tKdJHGlk9FEtDG9E4vSF5BIXpr7xj50/s1600/Bonnie+vs+Marilyn+Side+-+skinny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDpPzerrg_7lDZVSdYRopqPtkHpgsFvJ8Mq1WIJINoJfm9cV8j5Fa92d7YhWMxejhV4VUl4i_GKfzWOOWoIO9zSSZuGBOstleSg68DVVvlv0v3tKdJHGlk9FEtDG9E4vSF5BIXpr7xj50/s320/Bonnie+vs+Marilyn+Side+-+skinny.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIL-WM-zpjM-2wUphWddqE5MK8lRZzHpB1vX1K_F5YYCtSo0VsMCpot_kz_Uob4qHHMJzFLZ3LiSLvLgkxV2v0eS29xyXDiTb1her0oeMC2nu26vuLNAl1A6ZuPiRmAo-mYWHCQSsj-WE/s1600/Bonnie+vs+Marilyn+Side+-+big.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIL-WM-zpjM-2wUphWddqE5MK8lRZzHpB1vX1K_F5YYCtSo0VsMCpot_kz_Uob4qHHMJzFLZ3LiSLvLgkxV2v0eS29xyXDiTb1her0oeMC2nu26vuLNAl1A6ZuPiRmAo-mYWHCQSsj-WE/s320/Bonnie+vs+Marilyn+Side+-+big.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
The frontal pictures in the beginning of this blog are much more flattering to my body image. Then with Marilyn there's a hint of her vag which I think is what makes men go nuts. The second two pictures are less forgiving. In the top one you can see that my legs are thicker and a hint of a belly. Then in the last one there are no secrets. My boobs are bigger. There is an ass there. I have a belly. A hint of the dreaded cellulite (goddamn it legs, I've told you time and time again not to be so lumpy!) and my arms are bigger. I'm not getting down on myself, I'm just looking at it with a cold eye. Plus, Marilyn was clearly good at posing whereas I am no where near ready to audition for America's Next Top Model. (Where is your barbie toe? Find the light! Pop your booty!) </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Clearly, we can't both be 12's so what were Marilyn's hard numbers? When I was doing the research for this blog a few months ago my Mom asked with baited breath, "so what were they?" According to her dressmaker, she was 5' 5 1/2" and her measurements were 36-24-37. At her skinniest she was 118 pounds and at the height she was 140. Her bra size was 36D. My mom was crestfallen. "So she was thin."</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
With those measurements according to today's wacky standards she would be between an 8 - 10. But that's just with her bust and hips measurements, her waist was unusually tiny and was the equivalent of a modern day size 6. After looking at the numbers, she had unusually pronounced proportions. What I mean by this, is the difference between my waist and bust is 8 inches, creating the "curve" look. Hers was 12 inches meaning her waist nipped in 33% more from her boobs than mine do. That is a whole hell of a lot, and not normal. Let that sink in for a moment.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
The current "curvy" poster child is Christina Hendricks (Joan from Mad Men) who has slapped around a reporter for calling her "full figured." This is another celebrity synonym for 'fat' which actually does mean fat: <span style="font-size: 10px;"><i>full-figured (adj) having an amply proportioned or heavy body</i></span>. I would have slapped the bitch too. Back in my first blog I admitted to my girl-crush on her and it still holds true. I think she looks amazing. She looks real. She is fucking sexy. And side by side, at my current size, it looks pretty accurate:</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGM6_WAUOccd1N2_16EkUTldUx-xSvGHCQMTmtRiMUx9C3-KFEpu56T-wyFQzEzYgJ9Tpmn_jxqW3HMtpZ48T4ohLh9Hp9GWsmCoxeha8G5iNVDuxo-QvLxSuMs9V9SkJ7lL2TYS0viTs/s1600/Bonnie+vs+Joan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGM6_WAUOccd1N2_16EkUTldUx-xSvGHCQMTmtRiMUx9C3-KFEpu56T-wyFQzEzYgJ9Tpmn_jxqW3HMtpZ48T4ohLh9Hp9GWsmCoxeha8G5iNVDuxo-QvLxSuMs9V9SkJ7lL2TYS0viTs/s320/Bonnie+vs+Joan.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
To be fair, that dress was a little tight on me. Am I supposed to be able to breathe? No? Well, then it's perfect. (My favorite quote from "The Prince and Me." Yes, I watched it. Stop judging.) Christina had officially told the press she's a size 14 but her weight isn't listed anywhere. I would hazard a guess she's at least 30 pounds thinner than I am, putting her in a healthy BMI range. Besides having a a waist even I drool over, she shouldn't be the poster child for "curvy" but the poster child for NORMAL. </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
I have come to detest the word "curvy" to describe women. Recently it has become synonymous with "fat." She's not a blob she's curvy. Every celebrity out there who has a little meat on her bones past looking like a 12 year old boy is curvy. Then even women who are rail thin strike some sort of pose in a bathing suit and are pronounced curvy in rag mags. My understanding is that curvy is having an hourglass figure - meaning your waist nips in from your boobs and hips making it look like there is a literal curve. I inherited the german-stock-wench-genes for my DD boobs and ass, so I feel that I have the right to say I'm curvy. Kristen Stewart and Taylor Swift do not.<br />
<br />
Again, any woman plastered on the TV who is bigger than a size 2 has the caption "look at her embracing her curves!" Scarlett Johansan, Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez. I will eat my hat if any of those ladies are bigger than a size 6. (I've said this to girls I know who are thin and it makes them mad which shows how deeply rooted this idea of "curvy" is in our culture.) These women are not fat! They don't get any skinnier, it's how they are built. They literally have the boobs and the bone structure to justify it. And in some cases more heavily pronounced than the average bear which is why we point and gawk so frequently. You may be able to hear the thunk of my anger-typing as I write this. It really does piss me off that a size 6 could be considered fat. It's thin! And the size 2 we see on models are so thin that they officially are underweight. They start being underweight at 129 pounds if they're 5'11" or taller. It is a fundamental lie that they are healthy. Then the ladies who are at a healthy weight with "curves" are being subtly shifted into being perceived as "overweight." Then all us normal "size 12s" try to squish into stretch jeans and are left with no real tether into reality. It's all fucked.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
So in the end, me saying I'm a 12 is a myth. It is not true. My pants say 12, but I look like a 14. Clothing companies have deceived me with their sizing and if they were not forgiving I <b><i>would</i></b> be a 14. Again, in the media, women who are normal sized - meaning in a healthy weight range - (of which there are 5) are pronounced fat. Then women who are thin (size 8 or smaller in my eyes) are pronounced curvy. Finally, women who are underweight are declared normal. In reality, 68.8% of the U.S. population is overweight or obese (<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11px;"><i>Source: NHANES, 2009–2010</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>) </i>and we're light-years away from achieving the underweight ideal. In fact, it is something we will probably never achieve but at least I know where I stand. </span></div>
Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-52447728332974463222012-12-22T14:49:00.000-08:002012-12-22T14:49:23.933-08:00Having a 'hollow' day.<br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
December 22, 2012</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
50 pounds to go</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpgIcpIbajz2Jn5w12-0HxF-dcSiUXT8OT-ENIJKH4VCO3Sd_2fQObvCbPGs6ThlJ3yBRel9vAzT0j_aP5YXs_AYiqR7jW6hQZB4A_m-lFikyMXEqVeSMmXvbHoI5i-6KPxdnO9bxI2VA/s1600/hi+i'm+bonnie+and+I'm+a+bottomless+pit+today.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpgIcpIbajz2Jn5w12-0HxF-dcSiUXT8OT-ENIJKH4VCO3Sd_2fQObvCbPGs6ThlJ3yBRel9vAzT0j_aP5YXs_AYiqR7jW6hQZB4A_m-lFikyMXEqVeSMmXvbHoI5i-6KPxdnO9bxI2VA/s320/hi+i'm+bonnie+and+I'm+a+bottomless+pit+today.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Where are the cheese crunchies and veggie chips?</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
To be fair, I stole this phrase from <span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Hunger Games</span>. Not to compare my over-privileged middle class life to that of Katniss Everdeen, (or that I've been hiding in trees from radioactive bees) but I have had the feeling of being able to eat a house and still feel hungry. Those times when it doesn't matter what I eat, or the volume of eating - full never comes and I'm hunting around my house for something to make me feel better. </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Before I started managing what I eat earlier this year, I could go on some spectacular food binges. Put it in front of me and I could put it away. Huge noodle dishes. Fast food. Big fuck-off sandwiches. And beer. I still love beer even though it gives me a gluten headache the next day. I stay away from it now ninety nine percent of the time, but once in awhile I say "it's not going to hurt me THIS time." Nope. Headache. Pay the price bitch for this beer. Anyway, I loved to eat. And it wasn't just the love of eating - in times of extreme stress it felt like my digestive system was on overdrive. Even though I was packing in these huge portions of food I never felt comfortably (or uncomfortably) full. It was all I wanted and I could never seem to get there. I'd eat lunch and say "why am I still hungry? What can I eat to fix this?" So I'd go eat more and still be a bottomless pit.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
I thought I kicked this problem in the ass a few months ago when I discovered that gluten and simple carbohydrates were spiking my blood sugar -- like a ninja in my stomach preventing the "I'm full" triggers from activating. I threw that stuff out of my diet, upped my protein and started eating baked potatoes instead of fries, and found out that fat free refried beans mixed in anything is satisfying. If all else fails eat a bowl of cooked broccoli smothered in light laughing cow cheese wedges (120 calories) then chug a glass of water. I had found the cure to 'not full.' Alas, this last week it stopped working. I still was scuttling along eating my normal choices and suddenly I wasn't full when I was done with lunch. I came home and my normal dinner combos weren't doing the trick. I paced around my living room after watching the Gossip Girl finale (I'm still reeling. Lonelyboy? What a fucking girl.) baffled why I still felt like raiding the fridge even though I had just eaten an 800 calorie meal filled with all the right choices.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
There are three things that I can do in this situation:</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
1) Give up and order a pizza.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
2) Chug a glass of water / get a cup of coffee / a cup of tea</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
3) Go do something else.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Once and awhile I still give in and eat an extra helping of cheese crunchies (just a few hundred extra calories, not the whole hog) which I did a lot of this week. Sometimes I recognize the 'hungry' go chug a big glass of water or non calorie beverage just to keep my mouth occupied. (Yes Mike, that's what she said.) However, I almost always forget, and rarely deliberately go do something else to distract myself because all else has failed.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Last night on day 4 of bottomless pit week I realized that I have been under an abnormal amount of stress. This should trigger the 'duh' reaction as I've been dealing with a company take-over for the past 3 months, but I was doing fine. What made this week so fucking different? Now that I'm a ladder-climbing manager in a privately owned company the threat of "I own you" has been ominously hanging over my head. Truth be told, I'm exhausted (again, duh, I've had 4 aura-blinding-firework-show migraine headaches in the last month. It's not really funny when I'm sitting at my desk and am temporarily blinded by a light show) and I know it. I need a break. I have a vacation planned but now that it's on the books I have 3 huge projects that have been dumped on my desk. "Work on it over the holidays." Break means going away. Break means detaching for a few days so I can catch my breath and do these projects well. Break means not taking phone calls. Break means not checking my email. I will not be owned.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Deep breathes. Pick your battles. Put down the chocolate. Now is not the time to shout "the emperor has no clothes! You are out of your fucking mind!" Or draw a huge dancing penis on my boss's door because at least that would make me laugh during this insanity. After I had a teeth-grinding drive home yesterday and scared the shit out of Mike with my grump-face I just vegged out for a few hours and ruminated on my "I'm never full" and work situation. This isn't the end of the world. And I'm very good at my job. Next week will be quiet, and in all likeliness I can get these projects done (for the most part) before I leave on my vacation. Plus, I know that no one else is going to do it on time so I'm going to look like a hero. And as far as being made to work on my vacation? I'll be going to Antarctica -- I hear the reception is terrible. In all seriousness, I'm still relatively new at this company since I was 'acquired' and now is not the time to make a huge fuss.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
So bottom line is: my stress trigger is still what is causing this. It's just hidden down deeper and takes longer to detonate now that I've gotten a better hold on my food-emotion-connection issues. Once I came up with a game plan last night (even though it's still mildly overwhelming) I felt better. Also, "I'm full" miraculously returned this morning after I ate breakfast. (Yummy breakfast burrito guts of potatoes, scrambled eggs, sour cream, salsa and fat free refried beans. 465 calories. Still bursting.)</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Maybe it's a good thing that I experienced 'hollow' this week because I know I have to re-asses how to manage my stress. It's not necessarily a good thing that I have to cope with this huge pile of it, but it's what I've chosen and the bottom line is I do like my job. I like the level of responsibility I have and even in moments of "I want to draw a penis on your door" I still like the people I work for. They're mostly in the same boat that I am, respect me and have a good sense of humor. The fact that my boss was quoting "Office Space" the other day while dumping a project on my desk made me crack up. They don't care if a random "oh fuck" slips from my mouth (which happens) and the first time I said "are you nuts?" on a project timeline I got the reaction "I like her, she tells the truth" instead of "Do it! You're my minion. You minion-y minion grunt. Get to work!"</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
When I don't manage my stress and my expectations at work a layer of mild discontent forms underneath my surface. I feel depressed without knowing why. I feel out of control. I feel like eating a monster burrito. A life lived in mild discontent is a wasted life. To go way down deep into the pit of philosophy; is re-assessing my stress and coming at my life from a different angle an illusion I create for myself to cope? Or do I really feel happy now? Only I can determine that. It takes a lot of guts, and honest assessing to come up with a real answer with only my own experience to draw from. Many moons ago when I worked at the bookstore, I fucking hated my job. I kept ladder climbing but it wasn't helping. I would be so miserable I would cry for no reason sometimes. That deep rooted feeling of "I don't want to go" or "I hate my job" or "I am never going to get out of this" or "I'm stuck" haunted me when I woke up in the morning. I look back at it now and I was wasting my life in a pool of mild discontent. Saving up my money and quitting that job was the best present I ever gave myself. And I can say I don't feel discontent in my job now.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Life was never meant to be a flat, hill-less boring ride into the boneyard. I know instinctively that there are going to be periods of great stress and periods of great joy. When it's really bad (like it was this last week) I have to step back and say "this is just a shitty week." And now it's not. </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI1r10a-PDZBSnxgPCBIHcucy6EIKIBtT193A0ZVtA_ycvAAxTOPU3C1PXErQXy2M_gE6KNPM15f5kWt1FOMb-680F1DQ8MCwNA1YKqxj07YvW-uFMJgaTfMw2tEc_o9vTSuRCANH47TA/s1600/i+bonnie+horvitz+pledge+to+do+more+of+what+make+me+happy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI1r10a-PDZBSnxgPCBIHcucy6EIKIBtT193A0ZVtA_ycvAAxTOPU3C1PXErQXy2M_gE6KNPM15f5kWt1FOMb-680F1DQ8MCwNA1YKqxj07YvW-uFMJgaTfMw2tEc_o9vTSuRCANH47TA/s320/i+bonnie+horvitz+pledge+to+do+more+of+what+make+me+happy.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">The secret to life.</span></div>
Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-32500629903033100472012-12-16T14:19:00.000-08:002012-12-16T14:19:32.506-08:00The guilt<span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">December 16, 2012</span><br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
50 pounds to go<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJL4M8BOX9zuI73MypjhRSq1DPhTKSMkwkpTKzLNs8HgiZqDYdjq2IddIBjzuWpIydnsNvCnBVUoBTLJKTWvchae4CAU4lSVyBUjmKYjlzkGttx3Vt80gYazC3-7zPeSnUVGcs-TTHkME/s1600/so+how+much+more+weight+do+you+want+to+lose.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJL4M8BOX9zuI73MypjhRSq1DPhTKSMkwkpTKzLNs8HgiZqDYdjq2IddIBjzuWpIydnsNvCnBVUoBTLJKTWvchae4CAU4lSVyBUjmKYjlzkGttx3Vt80gYazC3-7zPeSnUVGcs-TTHkME/s400/so+how+much+more+weight+do+you+want+to+lose.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Pleasedon'tjudgemepleasedon'tjudgemepleasedon'tjudgemepleasedon'tjudgemepleasedon'tjudgeme.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
I have hit the '50 pounds lost' milestone and had a dance party in my bathroom this morning. Then Mike joined me for a dance party later in the kitchen. </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
The compliments and feedback that I have been receiving in the past few weeks have subtly shifted from "you are looking good" to "how much more weight do you want to lose?" Here is my standard canned response: "I set a goal for myself in the beginning that I want to lose 100 pounds because that's what the weight loss clinic / doctor told me. So that means I have 50 pounds left to go. I am going to continue on this adventure until I achieve my goal because I've never been able to do that before. Once I get there, if I feel I'm too thin, I will put on a few pounds until I have the body that I've always wanted to have. If I feel like I need to lose a few more pounds, then I'll do that. We'll see when I get there. " When I say this, I inherently feel guilty. Like my goal is too low and I shouldn't want to be that thin. Or, I can feel the judgement wafting off the other person which says:</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
"You look good already."</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
"50 more pounds is too many."</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
"You will be too thin if you lose 50 more pounds."</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
"You are in danger of becoming an anorexic if you lose that much more weight."</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
"That is unhealthy."</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
And, there is the shadenfreude lurking beneath the surface which says:</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
"You'll never be able to achieve that"</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
"You'll just gain all the weight back once you get there."</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Or, if the person is an inherently angry or judgmental who is also overweight, it's almost as if my weight loss makes them mad or uncomfortable. I went into this awkward feeling in more detail earlier in my posts, so I will refrain from doing it again now. Ultimately, I know it's something that's going on with them, not me, so I have to learn how to not let that feeling affect me. However, those emotions have definitely detonated in the last few weeks.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Getting back to the original discussion: is 50 pounds more too many? If I were to announce my number, and instantaneous judgment also comes tagging along. Just pick one. Two hundred. Two twenty. One eighty. One fifty. One seventy five. One thirty. One eighteen. Or as men like to say, "she couldn't be more than a buck-oh-five soaking wet. " I get this feeling that men think the normal weight range for women is between 105-130 pounds. Anything over that is fat or overweight. As we all know, everyone carries their weight differently. If you are tall you will look thinner at 150 pounds. If you are short, you will look fatter at 150 pounds. If you have no muscle, it doesn't take too high of a number to look fat. If you're a six foot three burlyman then 220 will look trim. I have shared with a chosen few my number and typically the first reaction is surprise. Really? I didn't know it was that high. Then when I say I want to lose 50 more pounds they say, "well, that sounds pretty reasonable."</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 17px;">
<div style="font-size: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: 14px; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUQ0HDTwbAzSuAjs3Jmt88gyDHf4z6DoxyrURZWBvMEgw-85hggQfBspLeMW4F_HKIfJtAJKvj799wycwWrN-O7nyx1U5SC2wNjoRwUx8fEtVjCJtShzooGt6cfT7De2BCvFqtupaIfho/s1600/judged+too+fat.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUQ0HDTwbAzSuAjs3Jmt88gyDHf4z6DoxyrURZWBvMEgw-85hggQfBspLeMW4F_HKIfJtAJKvj799wycwWrN-O7nyx1U5SC2wNjoRwUx8fEtVjCJtShzooGt6cfT7De2BCvFqtupaIfho/s320/judged+too+fat.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">What's your number? Or have you already fled?</span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Everyone has a number in their head that is the ideal weight. Then below or above is judgment. It's different for everyone and it doesn't matter what the number in your head is, what matters is that if you're judging then people can FEEL that emanating off you. Stop it! Coming from a family that has vacillated up and down for a lifetime with weight (as well as combining with huge stuff-yourself-food-is-love parties) this conversation comes up a lot. And we judge what the media portrays a lot. And we judge women in magazines. We judge our skinny friends. We judge our fat friends. We have a pastime of judging one another but not to their face. Then we hear about it second hand. So-and-so wants me to talk to you because you're too fat. They're worried. So-and-so wants me to talk to you because you're too skinny. We're worried. I know it's why I've plastered a big giant "stop" sign on my forehead for so many years and stayed at the same weight. I was comfortable. And secondly, what's it to you? Why does my number matter so much? As you can see, this detonates a bomb of self destructive thinking in my own mind, and what it comes down to is I want people to care about <b><i>me</i></b>, not the number on my bathroom scale. Humans are judge-y people so I know inherently we can't help ourselves but it doesn't mean I can't feel annoyed. What it comes down to is that I don't share my number because it's private. I don't want to have to put up a shield of self-protection / rationalization that I know is coming if I were to share it.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Now that I'm I'm at the halfway point, I almost feel like I'm starting over with the comments and how I perceive my own body shape. Going back to my very first post, I said: </div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #333233; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 10px;">
<i>Do I really look like someone who seriously needs to lose weight and am deluding myself because I happen to like the way I look? Do I have a skinny spirit inside a more-than-voluptious body? Every time I see pictures of myself I cringe but when I look in the mirror I feel good…. When I've told those who are close to me that the number is 100 pounds they give me statements of disbelief. Is it because we're all used to people being at least overweight if not obese? Is it comfort talk? Is it somewhere in the middle? I'm finding more and more recently (like within the last 2 months) women who are seriously obese come up to me and saying things like "us girls have to stick together on this" and it makes me cringe inside. I don't feel like I'm part of a fat club that needs defending."</i></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
I don't cringe when I look at pictures anymore, I feel pretty good about them. Although once in awhile, someone still gets me at a very unflattering angle to which I say "Are you kidding me?? Delete that shit! Immediately!" Again, when it comes to my body shape: am I delusional or not delusional? Do I still look overweight? Do I look healthy? Do I look healthy because the majority of us are overweight or obese? I still don't think I'm in the position to give a balanced answer to that question. If I had to make one statement about my body shape without trying to sound conceited or defensive I would say that I am fortunate to have an hourglass figure that holds weight a little better and I think I have more muscle than the average bear because I have been fairly active from a young age.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
Looking at the numbers with the cool eye of a doctor or weight loss clinic, there is a BMI chart that shows what is a healthy range for women by height and weight. For me, I just exited the "obese" category and moved into "overweight." In 30 pounds I will move from the "overweight" category into "healthy range." Here's the thing, the healthy range has a 30 pound spread. So really, I could lose 60+ more pounds and still be considered healthy. And those are the facts ma'am.</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px; min-height: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 14px;">
The truth is, I want to lose 50 more pounds. I've never seen my body at that size. I want to know what my body looks like at that weight. I want to achieve my goal. I want to see if I will have that flat stomach sans pooch that I haven't seen since I was 14 years old and not fully developed so it doesn't count. If I get there and I do look scary skinny where my head is too big for my body or my ribs are poking out like a starvation victim, then yes -- I'll put on a few pounds to look healthy. And if I get there and I still have the belly pooch, in all honesty I'll probably try to keep going and get rid of it. This is still my journey and I'm proud to be on the path.</div>
<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18px; min-height: 21px;">
<br /></div>
Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-22281456391529195802012-12-09T12:57:00.000-08:002012-12-09T12:57:35.372-08:00Celebrity Obsession<br />
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
December 9, 2012</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
53.9 pounds to go</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
Celebrity obsession is when I think I wake up in the morning and naturally look like this:</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE5jATcOf4OVNZjJaEnvB991hKvzXtuH8XCMMDR8Ik4atrXIUKthhFBnyDGi51oWKv1YUCE7bUNLGEf-vYSvctYrZlRgXVP5WgmLRv3LrEMMT5sudXCypaicHQBKtc-ErlRg66KMhCrFw/s1600/celebrity+me.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE5jATcOf4OVNZjJaEnvB991hKvzXtuH8XCMMDR8Ik4atrXIUKthhFBnyDGi51oWKv1YUCE7bUNLGEf-vYSvctYrZlRgXVP5WgmLRv3LrEMMT5sudXCypaicHQBKtc-ErlRg66KMhCrFw/s640/celebrity+me.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
When in reality I look like this:</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAdh-E3VCLtxyatosHp7qg4PX73jcTfufaVZ8HIFxwAEEflNAKUbyS2bXQrdsnx6wwDLXM4pwQ1xMlgJeq4d9RmKl-x06G60Fgg4XVr-InEc8hew9nEcc6xo6lAlX6Jb5FbzAh4CAyuHM/s1600/normal+me.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAdh-E3VCLtxyatosHp7qg4PX73jcTfufaVZ8HIFxwAEEflNAKUbyS2bXQrdsnx6wwDLXM4pwQ1xMlgJeq4d9RmKl-x06G60Fgg4XVr-InEc8hew9nEcc6xo6lAlX6Jb5FbzAh4CAyuHM/s640/normal+me.JPG" width="202" /></a></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
Or, if we're really being honest, when I sit down to write I mean business, pull my hair up and look like this:</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwuG6kFaFxrF5GCc1C_U-BfqIj2rRx1noJS4FdRhzYJXQ9_Wd_M0rLqOU28qrVpVqyqqPqV7rXl3TSFcMp-Qe1ZkmYQl9Vm82NtF4eJGNwsfFnszumM94Kd8HHWZ_MPBo3Olf1GlmlVA0/s1600/even+more+normal+me.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwuG6kFaFxrF5GCc1C_U-BfqIj2rRx1noJS4FdRhzYJXQ9_Wd_M0rLqOU28qrVpVqyqqPqV7rXl3TSFcMp-Qe1ZkmYQl9Vm82NtF4eJGNwsfFnszumM94Kd8HHWZ_MPBo3Olf1GlmlVA0/s640/even+more+normal+me.JPG" width="198" /></a></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
The trends that celebrities wear change by the minute, but right now it's a short skirt, sparkly top, dangly accessories and hooker heels. And good lighting. And flattering photo angels. I didn't have the requisite sparkly top, but I made do with a short black dress. In that picture (which I took first this morning) I'm wearing more makeup than I would normally put on in a week, contacts, and spanks. (Spanks are pantyhose that are so tight it makes breathing challenging. It's the modern day girdle which also comes with a pee-hole so you don't have to struggle in the bathroom to pull them up and down. In short, it's a torture device.) Trying to look like a celebrity takes a lot of work. </div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFBMMMGHPS4vYucdSH_lDsoTKLA3o8GV2NBS2LjAJ128JiOi_jVgFytdBgU4qXnwOoFV9a6xiMN5RlBuiJIgiq-aZFHdG3bh-469yF5eg9gHVOI5i5j_TL6DuTExfFZtNgDzNQmhf1yfY/s1600/she's+naturally+beautiful.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFBMMMGHPS4vYucdSH_lDsoTKLA3o8GV2NBS2LjAJ128JiOi_jVgFytdBgU4qXnwOoFV9a6xiMN5RlBuiJIgiq-aZFHdG3bh-469yF5eg9gHVOI5i5j_TL6DuTExfFZtNgDzNQmhf1yfY/s320/she's+naturally+beautiful.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">It seriously takes a village.</span></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
In reality, looks are part of a celebrity's job. They have a stylist to pick out their clothes. They have a makeup artist. They have a personal hair professional. About a year ago, I really wanted to become a redhead, and I lusted after Joan's hair in Mad Men. Then I read an article in a magazine that they touched up her hair color <i>every single week</i>. No wonder it looked perfect and I was so envious. I certainly don't have the time to hit the salon every week for a touch up, or the money. I have also read multiple times that celebrities are carefully prepared for any event, especially when it involves television. There was a compelling story about Jennifer Lopez in a magazine by her makeup artist that said oftentimes she would have 2 or 3 wardrobe and make up changes a day. First a TV interview, then an event then a dinner. Each prep session required at least an hour or two and it sounded exhausting. On top of the big three of hair, makeup and clothes there is the body. They have personal trainers and chefs. This means they have someone driving them to work out every day with an ideal regime. And then the chef ready with their favorite, ideal body-shaping foods.</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
It doesn't mean that every single famous person out there has an entourage to enhance their beauty, but I would hazard a guess that the ones that are frequently scrutinized and photographed in magazines have at least a few of the perks that I listed in the earlier paragraph. If I didn't have anything to do except work on being pretty my life would be very different than what it is now. In short, to think I'm going to look celebrity-perfect, even at my ideal weight is unobtainable. I don't have a village to help me. Circling back to my reality pictures above, I don't wear heels on the weekends. I wear ridiculous looking thick fuzzy socks around my house so I don't freeze. I have cellulite. Even when I was thinner in college (about 30 pounds less than I am now) I still had wobbly bits - a belly pooch and a layer of fat on my thighs. And for some reason when I want to pick on myself I always scrutinize my legs. Why do you look so lumpy legs?? You piss me off. Thighs, I'm putting you on a disciplinary action plan. And then despite all of my hard work there's still some flab at my ideal weight. I know it will always be there, so I can't take too much time to worry about it. This is what I've got, and if I really want to there are artistic ways to hide the stuff I don't like. Such as longer skirts and posing.</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
Also, in my reality pictures I washed off all my makeup and pulled my hair back. This is my ground zero with "pretty" and where I would spend a hell of a lot more time if I had a choice. Right now, it's only after work and on the weekends, but it's the 'real' me. I am not fond of wearing makeup even though I'm used to it. Any member of my family will tell you that I fell like I am putting on 'war paint' every morning for work. It's the mask we women are required to wear. And the older I get, the more mask I want to put on. Yes, I need this eye-bag remover! Yes, I need mascara! Yes, I want to 'glow' so I wear blush. If I had a choice I would just put on my sunscreen and be done with it (the only real anti-aging magic cream out there). A flip did happen a few years ago where I feel like I can't leave my house without putting on makeup. It goes back to the argument of what I want to do versus what I feel like I have to do because society expects it of me. It's still sticky and I can't quite explain it.</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
If you're wondering where you can witness celebrity obsession / mimicking in action go to Vegas. You will see a museum full of short skirts and sequined tops. When I went back in August, all of the girls were teetering around and I couldn't stop staring. People-watching became a full time habit. At one point I turned to Mike and said "are there even guys here? I haven't noticed one, and I'm not even into girls." On one night, we were at the Wynn at a club opening and it was a sparkly parade of celebrity wannabes. At one point a girl walked by with sequined shorts that were so short that her ass cheeks quite literally poked out of the bottom. I tugged on Mike's sweatshirt and said "sparkle butt! I've found a sparkle butt!" "Where? Where? Oooooh." Then, when we went up to the Palms Ghost Bar, I had no idea what to wear. Back when I was in college the uniform was tight pants, backless top and chunky heels. So I put on a boob shirt, tight pants and chunky heels. Man, did I feel old and out of place. But the chocolate martinis were good.</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
Another place you can witness celebrity obsession is a college town on a Saturday night. Last year for New Years we took a trip up to San Luis Obispo and that's where I learned that it is mandatory to wear something sparkly. It seems like every age group of girls is susceptible to wanting to look famous. Fourteen year old girls are wearing the uniform to their school dances. College girls are wearing them to their drunk frat parties. Girls my age are decked out at Vegas. Women older than me are at and schmooze & booze events and country clubs. (I went to one last week for work and felt like I had been inducted as a WASP because I had three glasses of wine on an empty stomach. Where are those damn waiters who are supposed to snack me to death with the appetizers?? Get your ass over here, I'm hungry!) When does the obsession start? When should it end?</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
I don't think it will ever end unless there is a massive collective shift in consciousness regarding women's looks. Socially, I think we want to fit in and look like everyone else, but what is slapped in magazines and on TV is an unobtainable model. Occasionally, celebrities will step out and have a carefully arranged photo shoot 'au naturale' with less photoshopping, makeup and hairstyling than usual but it's not the norm. Us women glom onto it, point and say "look, she can be normal! Like me!" But in my mind, it's still one step above the status quo. I don't think I'll ever be able to get there -- I can do my best, be healthy, control my food and invest in sparkly-butt shorts but I don't have the requisite village to help me. What I do have is my own circle of support to stay on track. It is my reality, lumpy legs and all. I wish this is what the media would portray, but I know it's a stretch. The best I can do is live in my own normal world, and not let "the celebrity" hurt my self esteem. It takes work, but it's possible.</div>
Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918921788387981776.post-69773996626369097582012-12-01T12:18:00.002-08:002012-12-01T12:19:45.749-08:00The Scale. (Dum da dum dum. Eeee!)<br />
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
December 1, 2012</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
54.4 pounds to go</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZuZm0ij8zq0nv1Ccp8ESkwVmP3Lh3JxrXL9T9i7-BZZbgqc4lAOqkpvfllDcuNICKnV8vSbBUOGzUoCuZpTsgQTFkb5teTZbU7ZYivmfJUp4roVO0NUV7MOcgV4svdWJztFrwe7h0AIU/s1600/bazooka.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="279" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZuZm0ij8zq0nv1Ccp8ESkwVmP3Lh3JxrXL9T9i7-BZZbgqc4lAOqkpvfllDcuNICKnV8vSbBUOGzUoCuZpTsgQTFkb5teTZbU7ZYivmfJUp4roVO0NUV7MOcgV4svdWJztFrwe7h0AIU/s320/bazooka.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Fuck this, I'm going to quit eating.</span></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
Ahh, the scale. It is the bane of the dieter's world. It can be the key to having a good day, or completely falling off the rails. I'll wake up in the morning, have a bad weigh and sit and stew while poor Mike is unaware that I've become a radioactive time bomb.</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
"Have you seen the scale? I can't find it."</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
"I took it behind the barn and shot it. It's best if you don't ask questions."</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
So how do we deal with this annoying-yet-essential element? For me, I weigh myself once a week - on Saturdays when I write my blog. I start from ground zero: first thing in the morning, after I pee, naked. I will also typically weigh myself on Wednesday (midweek) to make sure I'm on track. That's it. If I weigh myself more than that I will slip into neurosis-with-the-scale mode. It's a Tuesday and I ate fish! I think I'll weigh myself. It's nighttime, I wonder what the difference is! I'll weigh myself. I just worked out! I just went in the sauna! I just had a massive pig-out! Look, I took a man-pee and lost 3 pounds! When I slip into this mode I become one dangerous woman. It's what eggs on the shameful-jesus-look-at-all-this-fat attitude. I'm totally guilty of this and when it gets really bad is when I stand in front of the mirror naked inspecting different parts of my body expecting them to morph instantly into the end result. </div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM1_zNC9vIoDgKPkGOwvIdSdqWRLpTMtDBLcJGGtZV7m0foRYi_Dw-W4pegvqVIr16JXCXyns6nNxaDR6-KMKacD1oOYK_5KJBksQUAEIJg78KFrOV945AhmUvH6W4q0t_X9goSk0D1c0/s1600/i+wonder+if+poking+my+belly+counts+as+exercise.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM1_zNC9vIoDgKPkGOwvIdSdqWRLpTMtDBLcJGGtZV7m0foRYi_Dw-W4pegvqVIr16JXCXyns6nNxaDR6-KMKacD1oOYK_5KJBksQUAEIJg78KFrOV945AhmUvH6W4q0t_X9goSk0D1c0/s400/i+wonder+if+poking+my+belly+counts+as+exercise.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">If I do a headstand I'll definitely look skinnier.</span></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
I made the excuse earlier this year that I was curious about the differences. I was jumping on the scale after any minor item that would cause a fluctuation. How much weight gain does chugging a 12 ounce glass of water cause? (1/2 a pound) How much weight will I lose after a sauna session? (3/4th of a pound. But then you drink water and poof!) What is the difference when I'm soaking wet? (1/2 a pound). What is the difference between first thing in the morning and right before I go to bed? (2 pounds). I just went number two! (nothing.) It's nice to know what these numbers are now for reference, but it is very easy to get discouraged when that's my entire focus. The bottom line is all these weird things I was doing did not amount to a huge amount of weight. In my mind I was thinking it would be a 3-5 pound difference and really it was mostly under 1 pound. </div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
Feeling like I'm losing nothing is the other dangerous element of excessive weigh-ins. As a reminder, my goal is to lose 1-2 pounds a week. If I weigh myself every day then it will seem like I'm on a plateau because losing .1 of a pound every day is infintessimal. Then if I throw neurotic behavior into the mix, all bets are off. Best to save it up for my Saturday one-pound party.</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
On the other hand, the scale going up is an unpleasant Saturday morning surprise. This can't possibly be right! </div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGvOq9jpZfKuyCbWTf-n_EX5IGffmB_LOuxNnICht21BV2d6sC_h525R0A80Cax_dlIBU_DSFb5twRTXcI3iWMliCAaVW704XRPW_wbgaFglRr6lXpsojhV_6cQEIXWaeQ47G3ODGk_AE/s1600/get+it+back+in+the+groove!.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGvOq9jpZfKuyCbWTf-n_EX5IGffmB_LOuxNnICht21BV2d6sC_h525R0A80Cax_dlIBU_DSFb5twRTXcI3iWMliCAaVW704XRPW_wbgaFglRr6lXpsojhV_6cQEIXWaeQ47G3ODGk_AE/s320/get+it+back+in+the+groove!.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Try putting it on the carpet instead!</span></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
I have had moments of disbelief where I'm moving the scale around my bathroom like a Mexican jumping bean. No! Put it over here. No over here. Hmmm, I'll just get on the scale over and over again, it will definitely change. This fucking thing must be broken. Finally, I have to laugh at myself, step away and accept that I gained instead of lost. </div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
So if the goal is to lose 1-2 pounds a week, that means monthly I'm expecting to lose 4-6 pounds. That's it, and that's reality. Sometimes it's a little less, like 3 pounds in a month. In the first week I had a water-weight dump and lost 6 pounds but that's highly unusual, especially for a woman. Over the past 197 days I've learned that my weight comes off in increments linked with my cycle. Week 1 during my period I gain 1-2 pounds (then gone at the end, so flat with the scale). Week 2 I lose 1 pound. Week 3 is a good weight loss week, typically 2-3 pounds. Week 4 - 1 pound. If the scale goes up or doesn't move, I check where I am in my cycle then act accordingly.</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
Because the scale can be so discouraging, many people just quit weigh-ins because they can't handle it. The reality of how much weight loss should be expected is amiss. Or what the scale says vs. what they think it should say will tear them apart. It's only a reference point, it shouldn't be the defining factor of your life. Throwing the scale in the lake and living in ignorance is dangerous. If you can't measure your success then how can you truly know if you're on track? By not weighing yourself, you can't celebrate the pound or two you may have lost. And when there's a bad eating day (like Buca di Beppo "family style." Sweet Jesus -- so delicious, so immense. Hello my Thursday evening.) it is super scary to get back on the scale and see the damage. Most of the time it's not going to be as bad as you think if you stay consistent. Mr. Bucca didn't do anything to me, but I also barely ate the day before and exercised the day after. An extra 450 calories will not make you gain 5 pounds in a day. Just like starving yourself isn't going to make you lose 5 pounds in a day. Let's lower the bar people. In reality, the scale is an inanimate object that can't do anything to you. It's a device that helps keep you accountable for your actions. How you interpret the number or behave after a bad / good weigh is entirely up to you. But it's best to lock up the weapons just in case.</div>
<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;">
<br /></div>
Bonnie Brackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17169750980949841489noreply@blogger.com0