Total Pounds Lost: 32.9
Pounds Lost This Week: +.8
Well, this is a pisser. The scale went the wrong way this week. It's more than a pisser, it's downright depressing after so much work. So many rationalizations running through my head right now, but I'll get on with this week's subject.
While sipping my coffee and watching Channel 8 news in the wee hours before Max woke up last week, Gayle (Oprah's best friend, I'll have you know) told me that moms work an average of ninety hours a week.
And I scoffed, ninety hours? Really Gayle? That can't be right. But then I did the math. I wake up between 6:30-7:00 every morning. I go to bed at 9:30 and read before I fall asleep. Generously speaking, I'm asleep by 10:30 PM. Many times it's earlier. So, on an average day I'm awake 15 hours give or take. Max is up by 7 AM and goes to sleep at 8:30. On amazing days he takes 3 hour naps, on average days it's 90 minutes. And sometimes it's no minutes. I often cry on those days or bite a rando's head off. I think that's normal.
Anyhoo, here's the math:
My Waking Hours: 105
Max Waking Hours: 94.5 Before accounting for naps
So, Gayle was right.
I'm one of those lucky Moms who sends my kid to preschool for two extended mornings a week, giving me twelve glorious hours to write, nerd out at the library researching my book, or sometimes (let's be honest) get a California burrito and do beached whale impressions in front of the TV while marathoning 'Killing Eve.' So, accounting for preschool my average working hours a week is somewhere between 75-85 hours depending on how much Max naps.
Nap time has always been exclusively writing time for me, so technically, I never take a break. This worried my Mom a lot (and still does), but writing doesn't wear me out, it replenishes me. It exercises that adult part of my brain that atrophies after too many diapers and reruns of 'Llama Llama.' (Hint to future parents, the key question to ask yourself when selecting children's TV programing is: Can I ignore it? Yes? Sweet. I often read while Max sits on my lap while watching his shows. Something for him and something for me. Plus cuddles. It works out.)
But, back to this blog, and why all this detail is important: dedicating all my 'extra' time also means that there are no hours left for exercising in a real way, so my weight has suffered. Fortunately, our neighborhood is quite walkable so I take Max for long walks / adventures 2-3 times a week to wear him out and get some exercise. And the hard truth is that's the one thing that's kept me from gaining all the weight back that I lost in 2012.
Quite a few times, I've told myself I will trade a few precious
writing hours for hardcore exercise. And I do for a few weeks, but get so down-on-my-knees tired from adapting to hard work that I cry and give up.
I'm at that crux again. For sure. I got three hardcore workouts in last week (3 hours of exercise), and the week before every single day (7.5 hours of exercise) and my resting self is beat-down tired. Like, teary tired. Like, I'm going to let this blog fade into obscurity and give up again tired. I'm still fasting two days a week and the scale went the wrong way? What's the point? Seriously.
My shitty drawings are back!
The good news is, I am figuring out how to incorporate exercise in a way that works for me. When I go to the gym I've been researching for my new book while on the exercise bike or elliptical machine. So, it's a two-for-one benefit. I also got one of those 'step' platforms so I can do step aerobics downstairs while Max naps upstairs. I'm trying, I really am. But, I will tell you, being a mom is hard. And staying healthy and exercising on top of that is even harder. Show me the love!
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